


i'll meet you in the afterglow

by seoktothegyu



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Brian is finding out just how much, Eventual Smut, Fic within a Fic, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Jaehyungparkian, M/M, Mutual Pining, Secret Relationship, jae and brian are practically married but they don't know it, jae is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:54:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 35,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22238959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seoktothegyu/pseuds/seoktothegyu
Summary: Jae accidentally tweets a link to a jaehyungparkian fan fiction that he's been reading. Brian is beyond curious what it is about but Jae wouldn't tell him so, naturally, he creates a fake fan account to investigate.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Comments: 50
Kudos: 217
Collections: Day6 OTPs





	1. think before you click

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from All Time Low's song called Afterglow! Alright, so I based the very first part of the story from when Young K did his first IG live with Jae, but that's about it. Nothing else is based on reality :) And heads up, the paragraphs about the fic start and end with " and " to avoid confusion.  
> That being said, hope you enjoy the story!
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this story are either products of my imagination or are used fictitiously.
> 
> twitter: @jaesbrivilege

Day6 just finished their Paris show for the European leg of the tour when Jae returns to the room empty-handed after going out to look for food. They ordered salad and pizza for Brian and Jae, respectively, after finishing the IG live but it’s been fifteen minutes and the room service still hasn’t arrived. He gets to the room to find the bed empty, the sound of the running water letting him know that Brian is currently in the bathroom taking a shower.

The door closes behind Jae with a soft thud, the electronic lock clicking automatically. He places the key card on the nightstand before plopping face-down onto the bed—well, beds. They pushed the two beds together so that they get to share one that’s more than wide enough for the two of them. Also, on times when Jae gets night terrors, it’s easier for Brian to just adjust his position so that he could cuddle the older. The moment that Jae feels Brian’s warm presence beside him, his heart calms down and he relaxes against Brian’s embrace. It’s such a fool-proof, tried-and-tested method between the two best friends that they’ve been doing it almost every night for five years now.

Jae hears the water abruptly stop, followed quickly by Brian’s voice, sounding concerned.

“Hyung?” He calls from the bathroom.

“It’s me.” Jae lifts his head from the pillow to assure the younger.

He hears Brian sigh in relief before the muffled sound of the shower continues. “Did you get the food?”

“No, but I asked one of the bellboys for a follow-up on the order.” He shifts in bed, adjusting to rest his back against the headboard. “I’m so hungry!” He whines like a child, stretching his arms up as he feels a yawn coming in.

He mindlessly looks around the room, bored, when his eyes land on Brian’s towel draped on the back of the chair by the window.

Shaking his head, he gets up to retrieve it. _This guy, I swear…_ he thinks with a sigh. Brian often forgets to bring his things into the shower so Jae almost always has to hand them to him. Without knocking on the bathroom door, Jae twists the knob to find it unlocked.

“You forgot your towel again, you idiot.” He stands in the doorway, slightly teasing.

Brian pokes his head out, everything from the chest-down is hidden by the side of the steam-covered glass of the shower as he smiles at Jae. If this was any of his other bandmates, Jae would have already been kicked out of the room by now, mockingly telling him to try to be decent for once. But really, this is Brian we’re talking about. The member that Jae feels the most connection with, his best friend and longest roommate so, honestly, this is not something that Jae hasn’t already seen before (but like, not in a sexy way; it’s more of a ‘walking in when the other is changing in the room’ kind’a thing).

“I did?” Brian looks around the space, noticing that the only towel hanging on the rack is Jae’s. He chuckles to himself, facing Jae with a self-deprecating smile. “First signs of aging, I guess.”

Jae snorts softly, “Dude, if you think you’re old then what am I? Ancient?” He walks deeper into the room, placing the towel on the rack closest to Brian.

“I honestly feel like you’re aging backwards, hyung.” Brian goes back to showering, completely comfortable with having Jae’s presence in the room while he cleans his junk. He’s almost finished now, the suds on his skin all going down the drain. “Like, out of all of us, you’re genuinely getting cuter by the year.”

Jae tries to appear unfazed by the compliment—Brian’s always been saying nice things to and about the older, Jae should’ve been used to it by now. His heart has no business of beating a mile a minute as a go-to reaction to anything related to the younger.

 _He only meant it as a friend. Stop overanalyzing!_ Jae often reminds and chastises himself.

The thing is, he always feels secretly elated whenever Brian showers him with compliments (no pun intended). But then right after elation, reality quickly follows as he figures since this is the next best thing that he can get out of the person that he has been harboring romantic feelings with, he’ll take Brian’s sweet words in any way, shape, or form.

Clearing his throat, Jae is relieved that Brian can’t see his blushing face. His entire body feels hot after noticing how close he is to the glass walls of the shower. _It’s just the humidity in the room._ He reasons.

Before he does anything that he’ll regret, he turns around to leave the room.

“It’s the cheeks, man.” He throws as an after-thought, remembering that him and Brian are in the middle of their usual bantering.

To which Brian quickly replies with a chuckle, “The ones on your face or on your ass? ‘Cause they’re both cute, hyung.”

Jae almost trips on the rug. He immediately composes himself before saying, “Pervert.”

He hears Brian let out a good-natured laugh. “Says the one who walked into the bathroom while I’m showering.”

Well, he has a point there.

Jae, a little surprised that his heart is still surviving what with the surprising direction their teasing has gotten, opens the bathroom door for his escape.

Scoffing lightly, he casually says, “As if.” _Wow, should I try becoming an actor?_ “That’s no way to thank the guy who gave you your towel, Bri.”

Brian’s rich laughter is the only answer he gets before the door shuts behind him.

Jae returns to his earlier position on the beds. As an attempt to calm his raging heart, he pulls out his phone to start mindlessly scrolling through his socials. He first checks his Instagram but since his account is relatively new so he doesn’t have much content out yet; there wasn’t much for him to scroll through. A complete contrast to this is his Twitter handle. His notifications are always flooded with mentions. He clicks through them and immediately, the familiarity of the gesture calms him.

He feels himself relaxing against the pillows as he starts to randomly read through the fans’ tweets to him. Some of them were just basically screaming and crying at him for being so damn cute—which he finds amusing. Some are incoherent tweets as they keyboard-smashed the message. _That’s a thing, right? Keyboard-smashed? Man, it’s hard to keep up with these things._ Others are just wishing him a great day or asking how he is—which he genuinely appreciates.

As he continues to scroll down, one particular tweet catches his attention. He clicks on it to make the text appear bigger.

Frowning, Jae scrolls down further. He sees that it’s part of a long thread of conversation between two fans. He continues to read, confused and a little curious to what they meant.

_What are they talking about? Did I do something?_ Jae starts to wrack his brain about the things that he and Brian did at the concert and from walking around the streets of Milan and Paris a few days ago, trying to think of what they might have done wrong. He comes up short so he continues scrolling to hopefully find out.

_Yeah, I’m getting anxious here… What did you think I do?!_

_Well, too late for that. I’m currently reading the tweets now._ Jae sighs in instant relief. _Oh, thank God. So it’s not specifically me and Brian they’re talking about…_ His worries ebb away, now being replaced with curiosity as he continues reading through the thread. He’s already read so far, might as well get to the end of it, right? And it’s most definitely not because he’s looking for the link of the fan fiction, too. No way. (Sure. Whatever floats your boat, Jae.)

_What does canon mean? Was it just a typo for the expression, ‘like a loose cannon’?_ He goes out of the app to open Safari and searches for the keyword ‘canon’. Urban Dictionary tells him that in fiction, it’s basically another word for ‘official’, used often in fan fiction to differentiate the official storyline in which the fiction is based on. So, it’s like saying the story follows reality and therefore, it’s canon.

Jae still doesn’t quite understand it completely but regardless, he returns to the thread. _Let’s see…_

If it’s a story about him and Brian and they’re saying that they think it’s as close to reality as possible, Jae is interested to know just how accurate they actually are. He’s pretty sure it won’t be though, not even close, seeing as how he’s been quite confident that he was and is perfectly able to hide his feelings from the younger. You don’t keep doing it for six years now and still not perfect the act. He’s basically a pro at pretending whenever Brian is near.

Being incredibly cautious not to accidentally interact with the tweet—in other words, press the ‘like’ button—Jae presses on the link for a few seconds, copying it in his phone to manually place it on a separate tab in Safari.

As the tab loads, Jae proceeds to scan the page with caution; he knows that it’s not something that’s meant for him to read but he couldn’t deny that he’s intrigued. Especially after reading the summary.

**“**

Jae and Brian have always gotten away with a lot of things all throughout their careers. Having been partners in crime for six years, they believe that they can do anything they put their minds and hearts into… including keeping a dangerous secret from the public.

**”**

_A dangerous secret?_ Jae frowns. Just from the summary alone, he doubts that what follows in the actual story is in any way close to what’s going on in his and Brian’s lives. He was about to continue reading when he hears three short knocks on the door followed by a, “Room service!”

“Finally,” Jae breathes out, locking his phone and putting it on the back pocket of his jeans before standing up to let the server in. He calls to the direction of the bathroom door, saying, “Brian, food’s here!”

“I’ll be out in a sec, hyung!” He hears Brian call back to him, the sound of the shower shutting off.

“Good evening, sir.” Greets the man while pushing the tiny trolly in. He carefully places all the food on the table by the window. “We apologize for the long wait, there has been a mix-up with the orders. But, in compensation, we have added in two glasses of Pinot Blanc. On the house.”

“Oh, no worries,” Jae hungrily eyes the trays of pizza and salad, and the two wine glasses. “Thank you so much.”

“Enjoy your evening, sir.” The server sends him a warm smile before going out of the room with his trolly and closing the door behind him.

As if on cue, Brian steps out of the bathroom, clad only with a towel riding low around his hips. Jae’s thankful he hasn’t started eating yet or else he would have choked right then and there. His eyes scan the expanse of broad chest, follows the droplets of water slowly dripping down on Brian’s skin, and notes the way the muscles on his shoulders tense as he reaches for something inside the closet.

Jae is currently standing stock still by the doorway and when he catches sight of himself in the mirror just a foot away from Brian, he realizes he’s been staring for too long. He quickly shakes himself out of the trance that is automatically caused by Brian’s physique. Taking a deep breath, Jae takes at seat on one of the two chairs by the table to start eating.

“Hurry up, your food’s getting cold.” He manages to casually throw Brian’s way, lifting both the covers of the trays. He bends down to take a good long sniff of the rich smell of the margherita pizza before sighing happily. _See? I’m a good actor_.

“Hyung,” Brian starts, getting Jae’s attention as he’s standing in front of the mirror while holding on one hand a black turtleneck and on the other, a beige long-sleeved shirt. He looks at Jae with an uncertain look.

Wordlessly, Jae immediately understands what he’s asking for. He considers the options before meeting Brian’s gaze in the mirror. “The turtleneck. Black suits you, Bri.”

“Hmm…” Brian hums in agreement before putting it on.

Jae goes to start eating to distract himself as Brian finishes getting dressed. He’s halfway on the first slice when Brian finally takes the seat across from him.

As Jae savors the heavenly taste, he lets out a satisfied moan. “This is definitely worth getting a stomach ache for.”

Brian shakes his head with a fond smile. “So dramatic.” He reaches across the table to place a bottle of Lactaid in front of Jae—his lactose intolerance meds. “Don’t forget to take at least one of these though. We’ll be on a six-hour drive to London. You wouldn’t want to nurse a stomach ache the whole time.”

“Woah, I thought I already packed this.” Jae picks up the bottle, taking out a pill and placing it on his palm. “Where did you find it?”

“You left it in the bathroom counter.” Brian informs him as he starts attacking his Caesar salad.

“So, do I drink this with the wine?” Jae asks, smirking. “They forgot to include in water.”

Brian immediately moves the wine glasses away from Jae, clicking his tongue. “You know better than anyone that combining alcohol with your pills makes things worse.”

Jae sighs. “Fine. But if I choke to death, it’s on you.”

“Don’t worry, I know you’ll haunt me for the rest of my life until I follow after you.” Brian plays along with a rueful smile.

“Glad we’re clear on that one.” Jae finishes before swallowing the pill dry.

As they continue eating, Jae sets apart two slices for Brian after noticing that he’s been eyeing the pizza for a while. He cuts off the crust just the way Brian likes it before wordlessly placing the slices on the younger’s plate.

“Thanks, hyung~” Brian tells him in a cute manner before proceeding to devour it.

“How’s the wine?” Jae asks him, his voice a little muffled as he wipes his mouth to get rid of the grease.

Brian scoops a few pieces of lettuce, intently choosing the ones that are covered the most with the dressing before placing them on Jae’s plate. “I wouldn’t know, I didn’t try it yet.”

“Why not? They said it’s free.”

Brian shrugs, resuming to eat. “If you’re not drinking then I’m not drinking.” As simple as that.

It’s a small gesture but Jae is beyond appreciative. He really loves moments like this when they’re just being ‘best friends, Jae and Brian’; they’re naturally simple and easy.

He starts eating the pieces of lettuce on his plate, noting the differences and similarities on the taste of the pizza and the salad. Salty for the margherita pizza, creamy for the Caesar salad, and with a hint of tanginess for both dishes.

“I can’t believe you got me to start eating salads.” He tells Brian, remembering the day when the younger convinced him to start eating healthily (“You need to care for your health more, hyung. If you get sick, it’ll be a loss not only to me but to the rest of the band as well.” And how can Jae ever say no to that cute, pouty face?). “I didn’t know some of them could actually taste good.”

“See? And not only did you start eating healthy but you also discovered a whole new spectrum of food because of me. Seriously, what would you do without me?” Brian merely responds, the tips of his lips lifted in a soft smile as they finish eating.

It’s well past midnight when Jae finds himself feeling bored again. The rest of the boys are asleep on their own respective beds in small pods inside the tour bus after having been on the road for a little over an hour now. Jae’s currently lounging on the small sitting area at the back of the bus, looking out at the windows and watching the city lights move past his eyes.

As he sighs for the third time in a minute, he makes a move to pull out his phone. It’s basically muscle memory now, having done it a million times. As he unlocks it, he’s surprised to find that page of the story on the screen. He almost forgot about it. He hasn’t been able to use his phone since he read the summary because he didn’t need the distraction when him and Brian were hanging out and packing the rest of their things earlier.

Jae isn’t exactly new to the fictional world crafted by their fans. Heck, he even knows that every fandom in the world has this aspect specific to each of them. He’s read a few stories involving him and Wonpil, him and Brian, and even ones that don’t involve him—they’re about Sungjin and Wonpil, and sometimes, Dowoon and Wonpil. It’s through reading these fan fictions that he found out what PWP means the hard way. It’s fun to see what their fans are able to come up with. He couldn’t bring himself to be weirded out though because he’s figured that this aspect—the fictional world—is carefully curated by the fans and for the fans themselves. It’s become their outlet at times, something that’s only for them to enjoy as long as they’re aware of the boundaries and don’t accept these stories as a viable replacement for reality.

Figuring that it’s been a while since he’s read one of these things and there’s no better way to kill time at the moment, he begins to read.

**“**

“You have been incredible, MyDays! Good night!” They take a final bow before exiting the stage, the sound of a few thousand cheers screaming after them. They crowd into the dressing room, changing out of their sweaty clothes. The exact moment after the concert ends, the five of them don’t usually speak to each other, or to anyone else for that matter. Short moments of peace necessary for their sanity. Ears ringing and limbs heavy with exhaustion, they crave that private and alone time to bathe in the residual effects of having such high feelings after performing, to reflect on everything that happened, and, most especially, to ground themselves back to reality.

The five of them spend that couple of hours of lull time before midnight doing different things. Sungjin takes a walk on a nearby park late at night, enjoying the fresh air and listening to the sounds that the city makes. Wonpil sits at a window booth inside a coffee shop to do some people-watching. Dowoon goes window shopping for shoes. Brian takes a long bath to calm himself. And Jae goes to eat at a McDonald’s to have some semblance of normalcy.

As Jae, fresh out of his concert clothes, makes a move to get out of the dressing room, a hand on his arm stops him. It’s his boyfriend, Brian.

“Meet you in my room later?” He whispers with soft eyes, already knowing what the older will answer.

“Always.” Jae leans to give him a quick peck on the lips. “Leave the door unlocked for me, babe.”

“Why? Just use your copy.” Brian tells him.

“Can’t, I left your key card in my room.” Jae runs a hand through his hair before pulling up his hood. “I don’t want to have to go back to my room to get it later; I want to go straight to yours.”

Brian sighs, a fond smile finding its way onto his face. “You’re such an idiot sometimes.”

Jae playfully pouts at him.

Brian adds, “But you’re my idiot.”

“Whipped.”

Behind them, Wonpil coughs while feigning a look of indifference, the tips of his lips straining as he struggles to prevent himself from smiling.

“I heard that, Pil-ie.” Brian mockingly throws a glare to the offender before turning back to face his boyfriend. “See you later, love.”

Jae puckers his lips at him, sending him a kiss from the door before opening it to head out.

See, aside from the two of them and their families, the only other people who knows about their relationship are their bandmates. Jae has an inkling that their manager suspects them but is letting it slide as long as they don’t do anything romantic in public to avoid causing attention. Honestly, he’s just so grateful that everyone has been so accepting and supportive of their relationship. ‘It’s been a long time coming anyway,’ they said.

That’s their routine after every concert as well, something that’s exclusive to the both of them. They make a rendezvous in Brian’s room after doing their separate things to cope with the post-concert experience. It started during the first tour after they were no longer roommates at the dorm, two best friends missing each other’s presence so much until they realized that there’s something more to it. Them becoming a couple was unplanned but something that easily followed after.

They were cuddling in bed one night when Jae casually says with no inhibitions, “Hey, do you ever wonder what it would be like if we started dating?”

Brian just chuckles against his chest, thinking that the older’s joking. “Go to sleep, Jae.”

Jae pulls away a little to prop his elbow against the bed and looks at his best friend on the eyes. “No, I mean like,” he pauses, considering his words, “people around us kept saying that we do everything together and we practically are a couple when all we ever did was be… us. Jae and Brian. Brian and Jae. I’m just curious to know what would change—would there even be a difference?—in our dynamic if we listened to them.”

Brian looks up at him with fond eyes, absently reaching a hand to gently remove the strands of hair on Jae’s forehead getting into his line of vision as he says, “Then let’s find out together.”

Jae’s eyes widen. “Are you suggesting—”

“Why not?” Brian shrugs. “I like you, Jae, as more than a friend. Correct me if I’m wrong and I hope this isn’t just wishful thinking but, you seem to have feelings for me too. When you look at it, it’s really simple between us. And it always has been. So yes, I’m asking you to be my boyfriend.”

And what was Jae supposed to do, say no?

“God, I’d love to.” Jae whispers, feeling affection and adoration for the younger almost pour out of his chest.

Brian’s eyes shine at the older’s words as he stares at Jae’s eyes, seeing every emotion that he’s been feeling being reflected back to him.

They gaze into each other’s eyes for a few seconds, relishing in the quiet and serenity of this wonderful moment, giving themselves permission to finally, _finally_ savor each other’s embrace as something that means a lot more than friendship. They would have happily stayed in that moment of perfect clarity however, as one would expect, it was Jae who decides to break the silence.

“Brian?” He prompts in a whisper.

“Hm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

The corners of Brian’s eyes crinkle as his entire face lights up with a smile. “Sure, but next time you don’t have to ask for p—”

Jae shuts him up with a soft, gentle kiss, easily taking his advice.

That night, they didn’t exactly get much sleep. They cuddled, giggling in excitement at the new development of their relationship—from becoming best friends to lovers, knowing how cliché that sounded but still loving the fact that it’s real. They whispered sweet nothings to each other, happy and relieved that they no longer had to keep it bottled up within themselves. They couldn’t stop touching each other because for once, they no longer have a reason to hold back.

Strangely enough, or maybe not so much give as how Jae and Brian have never actually been hesitant and afraid to pull a stunt, plan a prank, or basically do anything together all this time, they also do not worry about the idea of keeping their relationship a secret. They know they’ll have to, no doubt about that, but they also know that as long as they have each other, they can get away with anything. Because at the end of the day, it’s always been them against the world.

**”**

Their manager calling him interrupts his reading. Sighing, Jae answers the phone. _Damn, just when it was getting interesting…_

“Hyung, what is it?” Jae starts, working to avoid the annoyance from spilling into his tone.

And don’t get him wrong, okay? He was only irked that his reading got interrupted because he actually likes the way the author writes. He feels himself start to get into it. It doesn’t have anything at all to do with the fact that the characters are his and Brian’s counterparts. Really. Nothing at all to do with that tiny bit of information.

“Can you write a caption for Day6’s latest post on Instagram?” Their manager asks of him. “I tried contacting Brian first but he wasn’t picking up.”

“Oh, he fell asleep like an hour ago already. And he probably won’t be up for a few more hours, scrounging for food like always.” Jae informs him. “Don’t worry, hyung, I’ll do it.”

“Thanks, Jae. I have already uploaded the picture. You can find it in the drafts.”

“Alright, got it.” Jae responds before ending the call.

After following their manager’s instructions, posting the picture both in their group’s Instagram and Twitter accounts, Jae logs back in to his own. He’s in the middle of quoting @day6official’s latest tweet with three dancing emojis when the bus abruptly runs on top of an exceptionally bumpy patch of the road, jostling the inside. Jae looks up from his phone, startled by the sudden movement and the sound of their things knocking together. And as he’s doing so, his thumb accidentally and unknowingly presses on the screen of his phone for a few seconds, prompting the ‘Paste’ option to appear and promptly clicking it. Adding the link that he copied from a couple of hours ago into the text field.

As Jae continues to look around the bus and outside the windows to make sure that there are no more bumps along the way, without returning his eyes back to his phone, he proceeds to hover his thumb on the corner of the screen. Right where the ‘Tweet’ button is supposed to be. Jae confident with the action for having already done it a thousand times before.

Of course, Jae’s confidence only goes a long way as he unknowingly quote-tweeted a Day6 tweet that has the link to a fan fiction about him and Brian along with it.

And since his app notifications are filtered, he wouldn’t get to hear about his mistake for a little while longer as he goes back to reading the story.


	2. read between the lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Jae is slightly clueless, Brian is sneakier than originally thought, and Sungjin knows better than the two of them.

**“**

Dowoon’s birthday is in two days so Jae and Brian are out buying last minute gifts for their beloved bandmate. Their youngest member had insisted that the five of them having a lovely dinner together is already enough as a gift and that he doesn’t want to trouble them with getting him anything else since he knows that they’re all tired after returning from tour a couple of weeks ago. However, while Sungjin and Wonpil begrudgingly obliged to the drummer’s wishes, Jae and Brian were stubborn as usual. Although, it’s probably mostly because of their overflowing gratefulness towards their bandmates’ unwavering support for their relationship that they always use every opportunity to express their appreciation for the other three. They have been officially dating for more than ten months now and surprisingly have been successful in keeping it out of any outsider’s knowledge.

It’s the ass-crack of dawn and they’re currently in an empty convenience store that’s open for 24 hours a day. The guy behind the register barely looked at them when they entered the store, busy watching a rerun of a baseball game on his phone. The store is pretty much deserted so Jae and Brian sigh in relief. Although, of course, they still kept their hoods up and masks on. They’re not _that_ naïve. And well, they wouldn’t last for ten months while keeping their relationship a secret if they weren’t being extra careful, right?

But back to the matter at hand, the couple makes their way across the aisles on the hunt for all of Dowoon’s favorite treats. Since they know that their youngest member practically has everything he could ever need at the moment, they just decided on getting him a care package. They already have a huge heavy-duty box hiding inside their closet at home, one they bought overseas, waiting to be used. They plan to spoil the drummer a bit by filling it up with lots of his favorite brands of sweets, a bottle of expensive wine they ordered online, cute trinkets that he might find interesting, accessories for his phone and gaming equipment, basically anything that they think Dowoon would want, they’ll add it in.

Jae’s currently standing in front of the upright freezers that contain beverages when he feels arms wrapping around his waist from behind followed by Brian’s chin resting on top of his left shoulder. The younger’s weight relaxes completely against his back as he leans in; Jae’s frame mostly supporting them at this point.

“Tired, babe?” Jae asks softly, reaching a hand out to adjust Brian’s hood that somehow shifted a little due to the latter’s actions. He knows that his boyfriend gets especially clingy when he’s sleepy or exhausted, often times seeking Jae’s comfort.

“A little.” Jae feels Brian’s body sag against his as the younger lets out a sigh. “Plus, you look so comfortable in this hoodie, I just couldn’t help it.” To add to his point, Brian tightened his hold on the older, nuzzling Jae’s neck.

Jae sends him a fond smile as he feels Brian tucking his head against the crook of his neck. _Adorable_. He coos.

He reaches a hand to softly pet the top of Brian's head. “Why don’t we get this done quickly so we can go back to bed, hm?”

Brian lets out another breath before agreeing, “Okay.”

He gives Jae’s neck a kiss through the fabrics of his mask and Jae’s hood before disentangling himself, choosing instead to stand beside his boyfriend. He looks ahead to see what Jae was trying to make a decision of buying a couple of minutes ago. “Are we also getting Dowoon chocolate milk? Didn’t we get enough chocolates already?”

“Oh, no. This is a little treat for me.” Jae tells him with a slight chuckle.

Brian clicks his tongue. “That’ll give you a stomach ache.”

“I’ll just take my meds beforehand.” Jae tries to reason, throwing in a quick puppy dog look through his eyes that he knows is one of Brian’s weaknesses.

As expected, the corners of Brian’s eyes crinkle as he fondly throws Jae a hidden smile before saying, “Fine, get me one too.”

Jae cheers, quickly leaning in to playfully nudge their foreheads together before getting two bottles of the drink.

It’s half past two in the morning when they get to the cashier and after all of the items have been checked out, Brian makes a move to pull out his wallet only to realize his mistake. He forgot to bring his credit card, the one that he uses for transactions that he does not want to be traced back to him. The only one card in his pocket right now is the one that has his real name on it.

See, Jae and Brian have also learned that whenever they would go out on secret dates, they would either have to pay in full cash or use cards that do not have their names on them. That’s why they’ve decided, with their fathers’ permissions, to get credit cards with their dads’ names on them to avoid attention and raising suspicions.

While the cashier guy is busy packing up their things, Brian assesses him. He’s trying to decide whether the guy would recognize his name or not. The guy looks to be in his early to mid-twenties. The music playing in the speakers connected to his computer on the far side of the room suggests that he’s into rock ballads and bands. Should he risk it or not?

Fortunately, Jae notices his boyfriend’s hesitation.

“Is everything alright, Brian?” He whispers, chancing a glance at the employee. He appears to still be busy with their items, not paying them any attention whatsoever.

“Yeah,” Brian replies, fidgeting with the card on his hands. “It’s just, um—”

Jae looks down to see what the matter was. He lightly laughs, understanding.

“You’re such an idiot, BriBri.” Jae fondly says, reaching for his own wallet to pull out cash. “But you’re my idiot.” He throws Brian a subtle wink, seeing the resulting blush paint the younger’s cheeks.

Brian shakes his head at himself, feeling the muscles on his shoulders start to relax as Jae pays for their things. Under the counter, hidden by the screen of the register, Brian reaches out to hook his pinky finger with Jae’s and giving it a quick squeeze as a silent “thank you”. He feels Jae’s finger tighten in return, his own silent “anytime, babe” clear as day to Brian.

And once they get inside the comfort of the car, parked on a dark and empty lot, with their masks off and hoods down, Jae leans in to give his boyfriend a kiss just because he can.

**”**

Jae puts his phone face-down against his stomach as he pauses reading to try to take in the latest chapter. He’s not denying to himself that he’s enjoying the story. However, he’s a little confused as to why their fans would consider the things that happened in this story as something akin to reality. An endless list of examples come to mind as he reasons that him and Brian are couldn’t be further away from their fictional counterparts. Him and Brian don’t call each other “babe” or any other pet names aside from “BriBri and JaeJae”, “bro”, and “hyung-ie” (but even then, those are only used when they’re aimlessly flirting with each other, just being playful and _devastatingly_ platonic). Him and Brian have never kissed before—well, outside the realm of Jae’s dreams, that is. And most importantly, him and Brian are not in a romantic relationship, surreptitiously or otherwise. (No matter how much Jae wishes that to be true.)

 _Sure, Bri and I are very close and often do almost everything together but… that’s what best friends do, right?_ Jae reasons with himself, fixating mostly just on the dialogue—case in point, he couldn’t get past them calling each other “babe” and easily saying the words “I love you” to each other the way they did in the chapter. How those three little words can have multiple meanings and varying depths, going from one end of the spectrum to another—of course, they’ve said those words to each other as well, however, not in the way that Jae hopes they would. They’ve said it fleetingly and, well… friendly. It’s a far-cry from being a declaration of love and devotion to each other the way they say them in the story.

His mind latches onto these thoughts rather than acknowledging the important things; the small and intricate details that make up the heart of his and Brian’s relationship in the story and in real life. The subtle touches of assurance, the shared looks of understanding, the knowing glances they throw each other when reminded of one of the numerous inside jokes, and instantly knowing what the other needs even without having to utter a single word, all those little things that a reader could easily miss if they weren’t looking closely enough.

Of course, it’s not Jae’s fault that he couldn’t bring himself to notice those things just yet. He’s resigned himself into a life full of secretly pining for his best friend, accepting whichever way Brian lets Jae have him.

But despite Jae’s upsetting realization that the relationship they have now are far from the kind that they share in the fictional world that the author has made for them, Jae finds himself lifting his phone back up and continuing—he’s on the seventh chapter by now.

**“**

It’s almost their one-year anniversary when Jae and Brian find themselves in a tense situation. They’re inside Jae’s room at the dorm, sitting on Jae’s bed and facing each other.

Contrary to what others would believe, Jae and Brian actually haven’t had sex before. Well, not with each other, at least. Of course, they’re not saints either because they have done and tried a variety of things together, gotten each other off on numerous occasions already mostly through oral but believe it or not, they just haven’t done _it_ yet. And it’s not that they’re saving themselves for marriage or whatever, they just thought that… that if, well… no, actually.

They haven’t even talked about it either.

They’ve glossed about it from time to time but never had a real conversation regarding the matter. See, they’re afraid. Of what, they also do not know. But when, just a few minutes ago, they were in the middle of grinding on top of the sheets, gasping at the feel of their clothed erections nudging against each other, the words just slipped right out of Brian’s mouth.

“I want you, Jae.”

“I know, baby.” Jae whispered against the skin of Brian’s neck; his hands busy roaming the younger’s body underneath his shirt. “I want you, too.”

Brian stilled his hands, slightly pulling away to look Jae in the eye. “No.” He told him. “I meant, I want _you_ , Jae.”

The slight frown of confusion on Jae’s face cleared as he realized what his boyfriend was asking for.

And here they are now, finally having the talk that they should have had months ago.

“Are you sure?” Jae asks for the second time that night.

They figured that the act of fucking would be the final nail to their coffin in the sense that if—when—suspicions arise from the media or the public in general due to Jae and Brian’s newfound closeness in and out of the spotlight, it can make a huge difference. If they haven’t had sex yet, the two of them will find it easier to pretend that the new development in their “friendship” is just due to them being completely and openly comfortable with their platonic bromance as opposed to when they have already been making love the entire time. That just the reminder or the thought of being in that level of intimacy with each other is enough to fluster the two of them, that one look at the unmistakable pink dusting their cheeks is enough of a confirmation in itself to anyone who knows where to look for answers.

Brian cups Jae’s face with both of his hands, holding the older as if he’s the most delicate thing he’s ever held. The sincerity is evidently shining in his eyes as he says, “I haven’t been surer than this in my entire life, babe.” He pauses, considering. “Well, except for the night I finally asked you to be my boyfriend.”

“I get it, Bri. I really do. It’s just…” Jae trails off, looking away from Brian’s intense gaze as he continues, “Don’t get me wrong, I really, _really_ want to do it with you, have for a long time, but…” he unconsciously bites his lower lip, not knowing how to properly voice out his concerns.

He hesitantly meets Brian’s eyes again and from the comfort and trust that he finds in them, he decides to just let it all out. With a heavy sigh, he says, “I’m nervous, Bri. As you already know, I haven’t been in a relationship with a guy before you. It’s not that I have no fucking idea what to do or whatever but… _god_ , I want it to be so good for you. I want nothing more than to make you feel incredible.” He avoids looking at Brian again as he finishes with a small voice, “A-And I’m afraid I won’t be able to satisfy you when we finally do it.”

His words further endeared him to the younger. Brian’s heart melts for his boyfriend and at seeing him fidget nervously after saying that he wants to be good for Brian and not at all mentioning about worrying whether or not it’ll feel good for him too. No matter how many times Jae denies giving permission to Brian calling him an angel, his unrelenting selflessness and caring nature keep proving the younger’s intentions to be true.

Brian yearns nothing more than to wipe away the slight frown on Jae’s face, to erase all of his doubts, and to keep him in his arms forever, protected from the rest of the world and anything that might hurt him.

“Oh, love.” Brian leans forward to rest his forehead against Jae’s. “If it’s with you, I already know that it’ll be more than perfect. If anything, since it will be your first time with a guy, I’m the one who’s more afraid that I won’t be able to make it a great experience. And honestly, we don’t even have to do it tonight. Or any other night after this if you’re not yet ready. That’s perfectly fine with me, Jae. Just getting to be by your side every day, with your face being the last thing I see before I sleep and the first thing I wake up to every morning; that’s more than enough for me.”

Jae’s face brightens up as a soft smile finds its way to his lips. He feels the warmth and reassurance from Brian’s words spread through his chest. He slightly pulls away to look directly into his boyfriend’s eyes as he says, “No, I want to do it tonight, too. I see no point in prolonging it more, now that we’re finally talking about it. But like…” he pauses with a sigh. “I don’t know where to start. Do I top you, or, because you already have the experience, you’ll fuck me instead?”

Brian lightly chuckles as Jae’s face gets redder the more words spilled out of his lovely mouth. “It’s a good thing we’re talking about it now, then.” He brings Jae’s hands towards his lips, kissing his long and slender fingers softly before he continues, “Whatever you want to do, babe, no matter what you’re willing to try, I’ll do it. You call the shots. Just say the words.”

“Um, okay.” Jae hesitantly starts. “I’ve been researching online and I read that prostate stimulation is such a great source of pleasure that most straight men miss out on. And it got me curious what it feels like now that I have you to try it with.”

Brian’s eyebrows shoot up as his boyfriend’s words pleasantly surprised him. “You’ve been doing research? You could’ve just asked me, love. I’m no expert but I’d gladly answer all of your questions.”

Jae hides his face from Brian’s eyes by tucking his head on the crook of the younger’s neck. “I was embarrassed, okay?” He replies, chuckling at himself and just at the overall situation. “But anyways, I want to know how it feels but I also want to be able to do it _for_ you, you know? Like, do you get what I’m saying?”

“Of course.”

“I mean, how are we going to do _that_?”

“Easy.” Brian shrugs. “We take turns. Promise me that we will tell each other every time which roles we want to partake at the moment. We’ll talk it through, negotiate, and compromise. And in no time, we’ll just know without having to ask.” He lifts Jae’s chin to tilt his face back up to meet Brian’s eyes as he continues, “But tonight, I think it’s best that you let me take the reins. Don’t you think? Since it’s your first time, let me make it good for you, love. You wouldn’t have to worry about anything but to completely enjoy every sensation that your body feels.”

Jae’s mind immediately comes up with images of Brian doing just that. He feels pleasure and anticipation build inside his lower belly as the vivid image of his boyfriend crawling top of him goes straight to his dick.

“Alright, okay. I promise I won’t keep my thoughts to myself about these things anymore. Let’s do this. I trust you. I’m ready.” Jae says, sounding as determined as he can be, clapping his hands a couple of times to hype himself up. His eyes scan the bedroom before asking, “Do we have everything that we need though? Where do you keep the condoms and the lube? Are we all out? Do we need to go buy them? I think I can make a quick dash to the nearest convenience store but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea because people might recognize me and—”

Jae’s rambling is interrupted by Brian’s lips connecting with his. It’s slow and gentle, coaxing a sigh to escape from Jae’s lips as he leans into the kiss, savoring the assurance and comfort that he finds in those lips.

“It’s alright, babe.” The younger whispers in between kisses, his voice going an octave lower that doesn’t go unnoticed by Jae, the sound further feeding the fire that’s been building in the pit of his stomach. “Don’t worry about a thing. I got you.”

Jae feels Brian slightly guide him to lay back down on the bed. A small gasp, which was quickly swallowed by Brian’s mouth, escapes Jae’s lips as he feels the back of his head rest against the mattress.

“I got you, baby.” Brian repeats while peppering Jae’s face with soft, open-mouthed kisses. “Let me make you feel good tonight.”

**”**

A hand on his shoulder almost gives Jae a heart attack.

“ _Motherfu_ —”

“What’s up with you?” It’s Sungjin, looking at him as if he’s grown a second head or something.

Gingerly, he takes a seat beside the older on the elongated sitting area at the back of the bus.

Jae grips his free hand over his chest, willing his heart to calm down while he discreetly locked his phone with the other before putting it inside the pocket of his hoodie. “You scared the living shit out of me, man! _Jesus…_ ”

“I was standing there looking at my phone for like a minute before coming close to you.” Sungjin retorts with a wry smile, pointing at the threshold of the lounge area a few spaces behind the sleeping pods, to which Jae just lets out a heavy sigh in response.

“Ah, that reminds me,” Sungjin starts again. “My mentions are blowing up more than usual. I’m being tagged everywhere and I think it has something to do with you?” He reaches a hand out to show Jae the screen of his phone. “What is this, by the way?”

Jae’s thoughts are still caught up on what he had been reading and his body is still recovering from being stirred by such not-so-discreet insinuations of what is to come within the next few paragraphs of the story (one that he oh, so shamelessly wants to return to just as quickly) that it took him a few moments to realize what he’s seeing on Sungjin’s phone.

It’s his previous quote-tweet with the three dancing emojis.

Along with it is a link that’s looking vaguely familiar the more he stares at it.

As the words “archiveofourown.org/works/…” register in his fogged-up mind, Jae feels like he really just might have a heart attack right then and there. And it’s looking like the tweet has already garnered about a hundred thousand retweets and a whopping two hundred and twenty thousand likes. All in a span of almost two hours.

“Ohshitshitshitshit _shit_!” Jae scrambles for his own phone with trembling fingers. “Sungjin, oh my god, I fucked up!”

“What, what happened?” Sungjin asks, sounding concerned as he sees the look of panic on his friend’s face.

Jae frantically pulls up twitter to see the tweet for himself. Heart in his throat, his worst fears have been confirmed. Not even bothering to check the replies, he goes to delete it. He genuinely believes he doesn’t have the strength to read the responses now, or maybe ever, especially with his current anxious and panicked state.

 _Park Jaehyung, you are such a fucking idiot!_ He scolds himself, thoughts running a mile a minute. _What will people say after this? Oh god, what will_ he _say after seeing this? He’ll most definitely feel weirded out that I’m reading a freaking love story about us! One that even has a fucking sex scene on it! He’ll realize that I’ve been harboring romantic feelings for him and he’ll start to feel awkward as he’s reminded of all the times we slept in the same bed. Every memory he ever had of us will be tainted. I may have just ruined our friendship. Just like that. Great fucking job, Jae. You somehow managed to ruin one of the few good things in your life yet again. Shit, and then our fans will notice that Brian is distancing himself from me, which would then ruin our harmony in performing which would ultimately ruin the band. All because I was an idiot for not thinking before fucking clicking!_

“Are you okay? What’s wrong? Breathe, Jae. Breathe.” Sungjin nudging his side breaks Jae away from his spiraling thoughts. He sees the way Jae couldn’t keep still as he keeps fidgetingly wildly in his seat. “Come on, Jae, talk to me.”

“I-I accidentally pasted a link to my tweet.” Jae stutters, facing Sungjin. “That was also probably why your mentions are all over the place, the fans were probably tagging you about it. God, I’m _so_ sorry.”

Frowning, Sungjin reaches a hand to comfortingly pat Jae on the shoulder. “Okay… what was in the link? Is it like directing whoever clicks it to a phishing site riddled with viruses or something like that? It’s not porn though, is it?”

“What? No!” Jae visibly recoils.

It’s not because the idea of porn repulses him either, and call him crazy but, he _almost_ wishes he’d much rather have accidentally tweeted a porn link than the one that he did. Almost. At least with porn, it’s arguably normal and _if_ the fans are mature enough, they hopefully wouldn’t hold that against him. Of course, they’d troll him relentlessly for that and none of his friends would ever let him live it down but hopefully they wouldn’t shun him for it.

However, since he did in fact tweet a link to a story about him and Brian in a loving relationship while keeping it a secret to the rest of the world that knows them, the repercussions of this are endless in Jae’s perspective. Number one being is what he expects of Brian’s reaction. Needless to say, he’s terrified right now.

“Alright, sorry. Didn’t think it was, just trying to lighten the mood.” Sungjin raises both his hands in front of him in surrender. “But honestly, judging by the way you’re reacting, I couldn’t help but to expect the worst. What was it, then?”

“It was a link to a story about me and Brian…” Jae trails off, suddenly not wanting to continue. Or rather, not knowing how to do so.

But, as expected of their leader, Sungjin is persistent.

“Okay?” He replies, unsure. “And was it such a bad thing? I’m sure the fans will understand that it was a mistake. If anything, they’d probably even be glad that you gave them a reading recommendation or something. Assuming that the story is good, of course.”

“Yes, it’s a bad thing!” Jae tells him, getting a little frustrated with the predicament that he unknowingly put himself in. He still hasn’t bothered to check his phone after deleting that god forsaken tweet. He probably won’t even open Twitter for next few weeks or so, which in itself is already a big thing for him considering that he’s constantly on said app for hours on end. “You don’t get it, Sungjin. I accidentally tweeted a link to a freaking love story about me and Brian!”

Realization dawns on Sungjin’s face before he breaks out into boisterous fits of laughter. Jae glares at him in return as he struggles to hold it in.

Jae just waits for him to calm down. And as most of the worst giggles have passed, Sungjin playfully pats the older in the back. “I swear to god, Jae, I thought I’m already starting to feel unfazed by whatever weird shit you pull but somehow you always find a way to surprise me.”

“It’s not funny, man.”

Sungjin sobers up a little after hearing the seriousness (and is that… _fear?_ ) on Jae’s voice. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t expect that, is all.” He says, giggling once more.

Jae releases a heavy sigh. “You done?”

Sungjin straightens up and finally schools his face. “Yes, sorry.” Though it didn’t really sound that sincere to Jae’s ears.

“Sungjin-ah, help me~” He whines to their leader, groaning as he buries his face on one of the throw pillows. “What do I do? This is so embarrassing!”

Sighing, Sungjin decides to cut him some slack, trying to come up with possible options. “Where did you get that link in the first place anyway?”

“Um, nothing. That’s irrelevant. Don’t worry about it.” Jae is quick to tell him, voice muffled and face hidden by the pillow.

“Jae,” Sungjin starts, his sudden chiding tone making Jae lift his face back up to meet his gaze. “If you want my help, you’re going to have to tell me what exactly happened.”

Jae stares at him for a few seconds, trying to decide if it’s worth further humiliating himself for. He figures he’s already hit rock bottom anyway when he sent that tweet so what else does he have to lose? A lot more of his dignity, actually, but he doesn’t let himself think that far. (“Jaehyung is such a drama queen!” Said by everyone that personally knows him, ever.)

With another groan, Jae replies, “I was scrolling through my mentions earlier when I saw the link. I wasn’t originally planning on doing anything with it or whatever but then I saw what the fans were saying about it that I got curious.”

“And what did they say?” Sungjin prompts when Jae paused for too long, the older clearly worrying his lower lip as if choosing his words.

Letting out a breath, Sungjin faintly hears Jae mutter to himself, “ _Oh, fuck it_ ” before continuing. “They said that they feel like whatever’s happening with me and Brian in the story is very close to whatever dynamic or relationship we have in real life. So, naturally,”

“Naturally,” Sungjin repeated, indulging him. He’s a little amused at how flustered Jae gets the more he explains. Honestly, he still doesn’t get why the other is reacting the way that he is. To Sungjin, it was just an honest mistake. Nothing to fuss this much over. Of course, he could be wrong but judging by what he’s been hearing so far, he’s really just mostly relieved that it’s not a porn site or anything of the sort.

“Yes, exactly, thank you.” Jae tells him, not noticing the small amused smile playing on Sungjin’s lips. “Naturally, I decided to check it out to see if they were right. I copied the link to open it on Safari, I didn’t know I would unknowingly include it with the tweet later on. Idiot me wasn’t looking when I sent that to all of my 1.4 million followers.”

“Then delete it.” Sungjin suggests easily.

“I already did!” Jae runs his fingers through his hair in exasperation.

Deep down, he considers that he might be just a tad bit overreacting but at the moment, at the cusp of when Brian is merely hours—maybe even minutes—away from finding out about Jae’s mistake, his heart is being riddled with anxiety so much that he couldn’t think straight. Right now, all he cares about is to somehow try to spin this in a way that wouldn’t end up with Brian suddenly feeling awkward around him. And their leader isn’t being of much help.

“So, then what’s the problem?” Sungjin really is just confused. Poor guy.

“I’m scared of what Brian will think, okay?” Jae’s tone lowers considerably as he throws Sungjin a defeated look. “I’m scared that he’ll see me in a different light and realize he doesn’t want to be my best friend anymore. I wouldn’t be able to look at his face when he finds out that I’ve been reading a love story about us, with us having sex—wait, no. The author explicitly wrote it in a way that shows us making sweet love to each other. _Us_! Can you believe that, me and Brian making love? And how that didn’t stop me _at all_ from reading further. Fuck, I’m already more than halfway done with the story, Sungjin!”

Jae pauses as he looks away from the other before continuing, “It’s not really hard to imagine what Brian will think about all of this. That I’m a pervert for thinking of him that way, that all this time I’ve been lusting over him? Sure, the story isn’t really centered around that whole scene but where do you think he’ll latch on to? Which part people will comment on the most? He’ll start to think of all the times we spent alone together that I had an ulterior motive in mind just because I have feelings for him. I’m afraid that every memory he has of us will be tainted, especially the unforgettable ones, the times we treasure the most. I’ve never been this scared in my life before, Sungjin. And I have no fucking clue how I’m getting myself out of this mess.”

Sungjin studies him. Notices the way Jae is worrying his lower lip, his left leg bouncing non-stop in nervousness, and his hands fidgeting on his lap. He can tell that this whole thing really is upsetting his friend and he wants nothing more than to help him out. However, he also knows that Jae is in some shit deeper than he originally thought he is. Sure, Sungjin can help him out with the whole false tweet aspect of the situation but the other thing? The reason behind Jae’s crippling fear of losing Brian? There’s not much he can do to help with that.

“Do you, though?” Sungjin prompts gently, mindful of the current state of his friend. “Have feelings for him, I mean.” He finishes, wanting to be sure but also subtly encouraging Jae to fully embrace his emotions. That way, he himself can decide what to do about them; whether he should act on them or not.

He hears Jae release a heavy sigh before speaking up in a quiet but unwavering and resolute voice, “Yes. I do have feelings for him. But I swear to you, that hasn’t been the case. I have never let myself hope for something more nor think that all of the sweet things he ever did for me are done outside the realm of friendship, nor did I ever have any malicious intentions whenever I’m with him. I’m genuinely, _genuinely_ happy just being his best friend, Sungjin. You have to believe me.”

“Don’t worry, I believe you.” Sungjin is quick to reassure him. “You’re the most thoughtful and sweetest guy I know, I never doubted you for a second.”

Jae throws him a relieved and grateful look. “Thank you.”

Sungjin simply acknowledges it with a nod before saying, “Look, I’m not pressuring you to do anything that you’re not comfortable of doing so I would understand if you choose not to act on those feelings. Like you said, you’re happy with the way things are with Brian. But, don’t take this the wrong way, I honestly believe that the main reason you’re scared right now is the fact that this simple mistake has a huge potential of laying your feelings out in the open for Brian to see before you’re even ready to confess to him yourself. Sure, you’re also afraid of what Brian’s reaction is going to be but that’s a given to everyone who has ever harbored romantic feelings for a friend because you’re putting your friendship at stake. But just the idea of being exposed before you have fully admitted and accepted those feelings to yourself can certainly feel like such a burden. Like when someone was forced to come out of the closet before they’re ready, you know?”

Jae couldn’t help but snort at the example. Yes, he may have already been out to his family and closest friends (his band members and less than a handful of other people that he trusted with his life) years ago and they were all very supportive, he couldn’t help but agree with how accurate the analogy is. The anxiety going through him at the moment is mostly because he feels pressured. Now that a lot of people might start to know better about them, or at the very least suspect that something is going on, Jae feels like he has to do _something_ to acknowledge that.

_‘I first thought he tweeted it as a joke but when he deleted it two hours later, I just knew.’_

_‘How did Jae even come across this story?’_

_‘And why did he link the one that we all agreed is basically canon?’_

_‘Oh my god, did he actively read stories like this about him and Brian?’_

_‘What was Brian going to say?’_

“I appreciate your concern, Sungjin, I really do. But,” Jae pauses, meeting his friend in the eyes to let him know where he stands in all of this. “Brian and I’s friendship is too important to me and I just don’t want to risk it. I’ve accepted that I have unrequited feelings for him long ago and that I’m perfectly content with being his best friend. I’ll take whichever way he lets me have him, just as long as he stays in my life forever. That’s where I’m at right now.”

“I understand.” Sungjin reaches out to pat Jae on the shoulder, seeing the latter visibly relax with the gesture. “Just know that I support whatever you decide to do.”

Jae gives him a wry smile. “I still kinda need your help with the tweet thing though. Like, how am I going to address that to the fans, the members, and the staff without telling them the truth?”

“Wow, so I’m the only one who knows? What an honor.”

“Shut up.” Jae chuckles, lightly pushing Sungjin’s shoulder.

“Alright, how about this? On our next concert, during one of your speeches, just tell the fans that I hacked your account to tweet that link. Actually, you should start telling our members and the staff about it after we get to the hotel. I think manager-hyung’s asleep right now but I’m pretty sure he’ll ask about it later. I’ll back you up with everything.”

“For real?” Jae asks, looking a bit surprised. “You’re willing to take the blame for my idiotic mistake?”

Sungjin shrugs. “In my perspective, it’s really not that big of a deal. Of course, I’m not in love with the guy so there’s that. But yeah, just say I tweeted it from your phone when you’re asleep so you didn’t know I did it until after you woke up two hours later.”

Despite the knowledge that his friend despises physical contact, Jae still goes for it. “God, I love you, man!” He says against Sungjin’s shoulder as he traps the man in his arms. Jae also notes the obvious difference in the meaning behind those words with the way he says them to Brian and the way he says them to the other members. But he doesn’t dwell on that too much because, like he said, he’s not planning on doing anything about it for now.

Sungjin just sags into the embrace, letting Jae do his thing. “Yeah, yeah, I’m the best. I know.”

Jae laughs against him before pulling away. They settle into a companionable silence for a few moments but since Jae is still his annoyingly-talkative, overly-anxious and constantly-needing-assurance self, he speaks up once more.

“Please don’t tell anyone about any of this, Sungjin. _Especially_ Brian. I trust you. I really do. But for the sake of my peace of mind, I need to hear you promise it to me.” Jae says a little pleadingly.

“I promise.” Sungjin tells him as sincerely as he can manage. He doesn’t take offense with the request because he knows that it’s more of Jae needing to have something certain to at least lessen the worries that cloud his thoughts at the moment and less more of Jae thinking that he would rat him out. “Honestly, Jae, I don’t see the reason why you can’t just tell him everything. You’ll be surprised to see how he’ll react.”

“What are you talking about?”

Sungjin looks at him funny. “I mean, I can’t be sure for certain about it and I might be wrong but, I swear, Jae. Either you’re too blind or just being a plain, dense idiot.”

Jae was about to retort when someone beat him to it.

“What did Jae-hyung do this time?” Brian’s voice startles Sungjin and scares the living shit out of Jae.

 _I swear to god, my life span has shortened by at least a year just because of this night. Jesus._ Jae thinks to himself as he clutches a hand to feel his rapid heartbeat.

Unaware of the sudden tension in the space, Brian plops himself down on the long couch, resting his head on top of the pillow by Jae’s lap before saying, “Cut Jae-hyung some slack, Sungjin. We all know he’s an adorable idiot, and we love him for it, but you don’t have to remind him all the time.”

Jae stiffens under the weight of Brian’s head and just the overall sudden proximity of the latter that he finds himself unable to respond to the teasing remark.

Confused by Jae’s lack of reaction, Brian looks up at him with searching eyes. “Everything alright, hyung?”

Jae immediately schools his expression. _See? A brilliant actor._ He scoffs playfully before saying, “I think you’re still half-asleep because I believe the fans have long established that I'm the idiotic one and you’re the adorable one in this relationship.”

“Sure, but they don't really know us, do they?” Brian counters, his face relaxing once again with an easy smile. "They don't get to see how cute these are up close ." He jokes before lightly pinching Jae's hip close to his right butt cheek, reminding the older of his earlier remark back at the hotel when he's showering and Jae came in the room to give him his towel. Despite himself, Jae laughs softly, nodding as he relented to the younger's claims. Brian really has his own special way of breaking Jae's walls down.

Then, Brian reaches a hand to remove the pillow and to lay his head directly on top of Jae’s thighs. He settles comfortably on Jae’s lap, eyes still a little puffy from sleep as he stares at the night sky visible from the windows.

Jae couldn’t help it. His best friend just looks so at ease and peaceful that he unconsciously threads his fingers through Brian’s hair, slightly massaging his scalp and petting him the way he knows Brian absolutely loves. Brian audibly releases a soft sigh at the gesture, his eyelids fluttering close as he leans into the touch.

It’s as if Jae wasn’t just panicking about said best friend mere minutes ago. As if feeling the soft strands of Brian’s hair is the most natural thing in the world. But to Jae and Brian, it really is. And just like the act of pulling out his phone, this is also one of the things that almost feel like muscle memory to Jae.

Sungjin quietly watches the two of his friends, the irony of the situation not lost on him. This kind of closeness isn’t really new to Jae and Brian that Sungjin didn’t think much of it before. He’s had his suspicions here and there but nothing that’s too certain. He’s seen the two of them constantly following each other around like a couple of puppies for years. But now, after his hunch has been confirmed by Jae himself, he couldn’t help but want to help them along. However, since he’s a man of his word, he decides to help only on things where he’s allowed to do so. And in this case, it’s being the cover-up for Jae’s mistake.

Sungjin clears his throat as he starts in a slightly excited tone, “Guess what, Brian.”

Said man tilts his head to look in Sungjin’s direction. “What?”

“You’re never going to believe what I just succeeded in doing.” He easily prompts, even chuckling a bit.

Jae quickly catches on with what Sungjin is trying to say as he throws his friend a grateful look, relieved that he didn’t have to tell Brian himself about the whole Twitter mishap thing. He didn’t think he would have been able to outright lie to those intense eyes anyway.

“Enough with the intro, Sungjin, just tell me.” Brian asks of him, clearly amused by the proud expression on Sungjin’s face.

“I managed to hack Jae’s twitter to tweet something!” Sungjin shares before bursting into fits of giggles. “He deleted it now but I swear, it was out there for two hours straight.”

 _Not bad with the acting either, Sungjin. I’m impressed._ Jae notes to himself. _A bit too excited but still not out of character._

“No way! How?” Brian looks pleasantly surprised. He knows that Jae treats his Twitter account as if it’s sacred therefore, untouchable so it’s basically a miracle that someone else was able to harmlessly mess with it without him knowing.

“It was actually so easy that it almost ruined the thrill for me.” Sungjin lies on the fly, leaning forward in his seat as he fully faces Brian’s figure still relaxing on Jae and the couch. “He fell asleep holding it, unlocked.”

“Just so you know, I’m already plotting my revenge.” Jae threatens, playing along. He feels guilty for lying to his best friend but it’s either this or telling him the truth and everything that entails with it. The answer is pretty obvious to Jae at this point.

“What did you tweet about?” Brian asks with a laugh.

“Just a random link that I found on one of MyDays’ tweets. I think it’s a story about you and Jae? I don’t really know, I just figured it would be really funny if his account was the one who tweeted the link as if Jae was reading it or something.”

Jae doesn’t miss the subtle teasing smirk that Sungjin throws his way, to which he just narrows his eyes in return.

“Man, that’s hilarious. I almost feel bad that I slept through the entire thing, not that I have a Twitter account to begin with anyways.” Brian chuckles once more before saying, “You said Jae already deleted the tweet?”

Sungjin nods in confirmation.

“Do you still have a copy of the link?” Brian surprises them both by asking.

Jae’s heart pounds in his chest as he asks, “Why are you asking for it?”

Brian’s shoulders lightly touch the skin on Jae’s thighs as he shrugs. “Aren’t you a little curious on what the story is about? It has me and you as the main characters, right? And apparently, since some of our MyDays are reading it, I’m a little interested about it too. Plus, we’re still hours away from the hotel, might as well have something to do to kill time.”

Jae’s heartbeat picks up again. His brain desperately scrambles to find a way to convince Brian not to look for the link. “No, don’t worry about it. There are better ways to waste your time. I saw from the replies before I deleted the tweet that apparently, the writing wasn’t all that good. Also, that’s why the fans think the situation is just overall hilarious because I think the story just randomly switches languages like, mid-sentence or something. Plus, there were some weird kinks that the author included and it’s just overall weird. Trust me, I’m pretty sure you’ll find it uncomfortable so do yourself a favor and don’t go looking for the link using Day6’s twitter. Trust me on this one, Bri.”

“Okay…” Brian replies, slightly hesitant as his eyes bounce from Jae to Sungjin before coming back to rest on Jae.

“No, for real, Brian,” Jae adds, trying to convince him further. “Promise me you won’t go looking for the story on Day6’s twitter. It’s not worth it, bro.”

Brian would have easily let it go and move on but seeing the pink dusting Jae’s cheeks and the tips of his ears tells him that he’s missing something important here. For someone who says he immediately deleted the tweet after becoming aware of it, he sure does know a lot about the story that he claims he didn’t get to read—if what he’s even describing about the quality of the writing is true. Also, the fact that Jae’s rambling again is an obvious tell-tale sign to Brian. He knows Jae like the back of his hand so he knows that the only times Jae would ramble are when he’s anxious about an important performance or when he’s lying about something. Brian guesses that it’s the second one.

But since he knows he can never seem to win against Jae (not that he ever tried to, considering how much he enjoys seeing the older’s bright, triumphant smiles), he decides to say, “Alright, I promise I won’t look for it with Day6’s account.”

He finishes of with a yawn because despite the weird turn in their conversation, Jae never stopped running his fingers through Brian’s hair, effectively lulling him into another round of sleep.

Or so that’s what Brian wants him to believe.

Jae fondly chuckles at him, looking slightly calmer now after hearing the younger’s words. “Don’t tell me you’re sleepy again when you just woke up like twenty minutes ago.”

“It’s a gift, hyung.” He jokingly replies before sitting up. “I’m going to take a nap. Please wake me up when we get to the stopover.”

“Sure thing.” Jae easily replies as Brian stands to go back to his designated sleeping pod. “’Night, BriBri.”

After the bassist has left Sungjin and Jae alone, Jae heaves a sigh in relief.

“God, that was so close.” He tells Sungjin who just fondly shakes his head at him with a chuckle.

Inside the sleeping pod with the curtains drawn, Brian pulls out his phone. He really did mean it when he said that he wouldn’t look for the link of the story on Day6’s account. But if there’s one thing his annoyingly competitive self loves more than winning (against everyone else but Jae, of course), it’s finding loopholes.

If he can’t use Day6’s account, then he’ll just make his own.

He pulls up Twitter, clicking the “Create a new account” option.

He smiles proudly at himself. Of course, even when creating a fake account, he'll make it as if it's one of his fans. He couldn't believe that the username is still available. At first, he would've used a selfie that he took days before as his display picture but then he realizes that fans might question where user @youngkbestboy got the picture because they all haven't seen it before.

So, pulling up Google, he types in the keywords "day6 young k boyfriend look". He'll be damned if he ever let the other members know he searched this. But since he's aiming for a Young K stan kind of account, he figures it's what the account needs. The cover photo he used of Goldie is something that he already has saved when he saw it on Twitter (that he found using Day6's handle) from one of his fansites months ago.

The only ones he follows are Day6's, Jae's, Dowoon's, and Sungjin's.

(He wonders if Wonpil also secretly has a Twitter account just like him. Now that he thinks about it, Wonpil is always packed and often replying with funny memes of the other members in their band's group chat. But Brian decides that's a question for another day.)

Try as he might, he couldn't be bothered to think of anything witty or funny for his display name and account bio. (Yes, he's lazy.) He figures he wouldn't need to use this account to interact with other people anyway, as he's planning on using it mainly to stalk his members online and find pictures that are blackmail-worthy later on. He usually finds those things on the replies under most of his member's tweets anyway, especially Jae's.

Brian has always found it amusing how most of their fans understand and reciprocate Jae's humor but when he did a full sweep of his best friend's tweets before, he took note of all of Jae's self-deprecating remarks. Instead of finding them funny, Brian got upset after reading them. He genuinely believes how amazing of a person Jae is and it baffles him that Jae doesn't see it. But of course, he can't just go around and disputing every joke Jae throws at himself because that's also just a part of his personality. So, Brian just settles to playing along but never without throwing in a simple compliment with them whenever he can to counter the self-deprecating remarks.

But back to the matter at hand, it doesn’t take long for Brian to find the link—it seriously took him less than a minute after he finished setting up his fake fan account. All he needed to do was type in the search bar Jae’s handle and immediately, the top result shows a tweet with the link in display for the fans who missed the action to see.

But that’s already ten minutes ago. He's not really in a hurry to read it yet, after all he only got curious of it because of Jae's insistence that he shouldn't read it. He's also interested to find out how Sungjin came to know about that story but what's nagging at Brian the most is how Jae claims that he didn't read it, yet somehow seeming that he knows enough to ask Brian to promise not to read it too. And that goes back to bite Jae in the ass.

Honestly, Brian is like a child sometimes. The more you tell him not to do something, the more he'll want to do it. This side of him, the one wherein his "only child tendencies" shine through, is one of the things that adores him to the older (on times when it's not at his expense, that is).

After saving the link on his phone, he goes to read some of the tweets first. He's enjoying the overall response of the fans, and the more he reads, the more he questions why Jae claimed that the story wasn't all that good when it's looking very clearly that it's a fan-favorite.

_Ah, so this must be the author..._ Brian muses as he reads all the replies congratulating the account. The overall atmosphere of their fans, at least of what he can see under the results of his current search, is celebratory. People are slightly chaotic, in the best way possible, and just generally in high spirits because of the whole mishap. Brian finds himself smiling at their words.

But, as expected, since this is still Twitter, Brian also encounters some not-so-happy tweets.

Sure, they don't know that it was Sungjin who tweeted that (at least, in Brian's knowledge) but Brian also didn't appreciate the tone. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, he knows that by heart, but he also believes it's unnecessary that the user tagged Jae. Plus, it's pretty obvious that they were only guessing what really happened and they clearly don't know the whole story anyway. He knows how much Jae takes their fans' words to heart so it irks him just imagining Jae staring at his phone and frowning slightly as he reads this kind of tweets. And just like that, at the mere thought of this person's words potentially making Jae sad, Brian couldn't help but do something.

_Rude._ Brian comments to himself. He was looking to have a respectful discussion with the person but clearly, they had other things in mind. So, instead of engaging further, Brian just blocks the account.

Releasing a sigh to collect his thoughts, he goes back to read some more tweets and a particular one easily catches his eye.

The words “as close to reality as possible” latches onto his thoughts. He decides that he’s been putting off reading it for too long now so, logging out of Twitter and opening his browser, he loads the link of the story. At first glance, he notices the length of it—ten chapters made up of about fifty thousand words. Adjusting his position to get more comfortable on the tiny bed, Brian settles down before reading.

It’s when he gets to the third chapter that Brian notices just how much he’s enjoying the story. He’s so caught up in it that he hasn’t even bothered to try to overanalyze what the characters were feeling and thinking and how he can make lyrics out of them. Kind of just like how he’s usually inclined to do when watching or reading romance movies and books. His brain just checks out as he remains fully immersed in the words.

And compared to Brian, Jae really is a little bit of an idiot for not being able to read between the lines. Jae failed to notice that, sure, even though the dialogue is a little too fictional for it to be perfectly accurate, their actions within the story are a complete reflection of how they act towards each other in real life. The author basically held up a mirror in front of them in the form of a story.

That’s what their fans are pertaining to; the meaningful glances they share on stage while communicating with their eyes, the subtle touches that linger just a tad too long, the clothes they share, you name it. And those are just the things that the fans are permitted to see, not including the part of Jae and Brian’s dynamic that people don’t get to witness when there are no more cameras and outside eyes lingering around. However, that’s already enough for them to deduce what Jae and Brian have both been too blind (Jae) and too afraid (Brian) to act up on.

Fortunately, Brian was quick to finally pick up on it just after reading a few chapters. Brian has always known that he had feelings for the older, he just didn't want to do anything to mess up what they have now. But after reading the story, it made him realize that how sweet, gentle, and considerate Jae acts towards him is reflective of how Jae’s fictional version of himself takes care of Brian’s character in the story. That the hope he very rarely permits himself to feel and is kept hidden deep within suddenly flourishes in his chest upon seeing how the fans have pointed out that the way Jae acts towards him is pretty much how a man acts towards his lover. That maybe, just _maybe_ , Jae actually might have feelings for him too.

It only took Brian less than an hour for him to reach this level of clarity regarding their relationship and what they have the potential of becoming.

So, see? Compared to Brian, Jae really is an idiot.

Or in denial. Whatever you wish to call it.

Armed with this new realization, Brian comes up with a plan on how to tell Jae what he truly feels. He figures that if he chooses not to do anything, then nothing will ever change between them. Sure, what they have together right now is good, but Brian knows they have the possibility of becoming greater.


	3. when fiction comes to life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist: Brian is also an idiot.

**“**

The sound of Brian sneezing catches Jae’s attention. He pauses packing up his essentials in a bag to look at his boyfriend, frowning in concern. Jae’s about to leave the next day to go home to his parents’ house as the band has two full weeks’ worth of vacation. Sungjin, Wonpil, and Dowoon left late afternoon yesterday and since Brian already saw his parents when they came along to their tour about a month ago, he opted to stay at the dorm for the time being. Jae offered that he’s always welcome to come home with him but Brian declined, saying he didn’t want to take up any more of Jae’s time while being with his parents and that he’s fine being alone at the dorm. He promised he’ll just visit the Park residence a week later.

However, after Brian picked up a common cold and a slight fever earlier in the day, Jae suddenly felt hesitant to leave the younger to his own devices.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright, Brian?” Jae asks for the third time in an hour, frowning.

“Yes, babe. I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” Brian assures him, working so as to not make his voice sound nasally. After all, he’s trying to convince Jae that his cold is not that big of a deal.

He’s currently laid out on the couch, making himself useful by reminding Jae of all the things he needed to bring just in case he forgets about them—charger, airpods, his favorite skincare products, really, just every day things that Jae considers essential. He would have even helped pack them himself if his limbs didn’t feel a little sore, his muscles singing in protest at every tiny movement that the younger makes.

Jae would’ve believed his words of assurance if Brian hadn’t followed them up with another bout of sneezing.

Jae starts, “You know what? No. I’m not leaving you like this.” He decides, walking towards Brian to hand him a box of tissues from the television stand. “I’ll just tell my parents I’m coming home next week. They’ll understand, for sure they also wouldn’t want me to leave you alone anyway.”

Brian reaches for a few pieces to blow his nose. He groans a little in discomfort, his voice sounding deeper caused by the cold as he argues, “Hyung, you don’t have to. I promise I’m—”

“This is non-negotiable, Brian.” Jae’s voice is stern. There’s a worried frown on his face as he watches Brian trying (and struggling) to sit up. “And besides, if this is the other way around and it was me in your situation, would you have left me alone?”

“Of course not!”

“There you have it, then.”

Brian clicks his tongue. “That’s not the same though.”

“How is it not?”

“In addition to being ill, you’re a big baby with a shit-ton of allergies. You just get sick too often that I could never leave you alone to fend for yourself in that state.” The younger reasons, continuing, “And _I_ , on the other hand, don’t get sick often but on the few times that I do, it usually lasts for less than two days. I’ll be fine once I take my meds.”

Jae sits down beside Brian on the couch, facing sideways so that his legs are flushed with Brian’s. “BriBri, please. I’m staying with you. End of discussion.”

Brian looks down to his lap, frowning as well. “I just don’t want you to be stuck here with me. You have been counting down the days until vacation—or freedom as you love to call it. You should be out there getting some sun or breathing in fresh air, basically just about doing anything else, instead of being in here nursing me back to health.” He tells him with a guilty look.

Jae gently lays his hand on one of the younger’s thighs, patting him softly for reassurance. “Babe, do you really think I’ll be able to have some semblance of fun when I know that you’re all alone and in a bad condition? Of course, I’ll be worried sick—no pun intended.” He jokes to lighten the mood before continuing. “There’s nothing I want more than for you to get better soon so if there’s anything at all that I could do to help, I’d gladly do it in a heartbeat.”

Brian releases a breath, giving in, before leaning forward to rest his head on Jae’s shoulder. To help the younger get more comfortable, Jae adjusts their position by resting his back on the couch to accommodate Brian’s body leaning by his side. Almost immediately, he feels Brian melting against him from the comfort that Jae’s presence gives him. He looks up at Jae, eyes shining in gratitude.

“I love you.” He tells the older before bringing his hand on Jae’s neck to pull him in a kiss.

Jae naturally leans in at first but immediately comes to his senses as he slightly pulls away, chuckling. “Nah-uh, no kisses for you until you’re better. I love you too, babe, but I also don’t want us both to get sick at the same time.” Brian pouts in protest, looking unintentionally adorable.

Jae used to think it’s unfair how Brian always looks either cute or sexy no matter which face he makes while Jae looks oftentimes like the quintessential goofy guy that meme enthusiasts thrive off of. But then he realized that, at the end of the day, this hot and perfect guy loves to sleep in _his_ bed every night; the satisfaction that he feels afterwards easily trumps the whole unfairness of their dynamic.

“Fine.” Brian relents but not before wrapping his arm around Jae’s torso and tucking his head under the latter’s chin.

Jae smiles fondly at the gesture. A tired and sick Brian always result into a clingy Brian. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t like the attention. He would never admit it to Brian, and even though he hates situations like this wherein one of them is not in their peak condition, but this side of his boyfriend is one of the things Jae treasures the most—getting to see Brian’s vulnerable side. The side that Brian feels secure enough to share to Jae and only Jae, to completely let the older in, with all of his walls down and almost non-existent. Jae feels proud that he’s the one that Brian always seeks to get comfort from, a thing that he is often inclined and more than eager enough to give him.

“Rest up, my love. I’m right here.” He whispers softly, feeling Brian sag against his whole frame. He gently frees his arm that’s stuck in between his and Brian’s bodies before resting it across Brian’s back, running soothing circles against it to try to lull his boyfriend to sleep.

After a few moments of silence with only the sound of their breaths occupying the room, Jae reaches for the remote with his free hand to watch something on Netflix. He makes sure to lower the volume as he feels Brian’s breaths even out. And in looking down, he sees the younger’s lashes flutter close with a soft, contented sigh. Jae presses a kiss on top of Brian’s head before settling comfortably for the whole afternoon on the couch.

Later on, after making him take his flu meds, Jae manages to convince a half-asleep Brian to get on his bed because it’s definitely more comfortable than the couch. However, he couldn’t help the small chuckle that escapes his lips when Brian naturally went for Jae’s bedroom instead of his own.

Shoulders slumped, he was dragging his feet while walking to the bed before plopping down, hugging Jae’s pillow, and immediately going back to sleep. Jae had to slightly nudge the younger’s legs as he secures the blanket properly over the latter.

After getting comfortable, Brian hugs the pillow tighter against him and proceeds to bury his entire face on it. He’s mumbling words in his sleep that Jae couldn’t make sense of, further adoring him to his nurse.

 _Who’s being a big baby now?_ Jae mused with a soft smile before turning off the lights and heading out of the room.

He’s currently in the kitchen cooking what’s left of their ramen to feed his sick boyfriend. He knows it’s not much but since Brian has a cold and a slight fever, it will do him wonders by eating something warm. He’s already informed his parents that he won’t be going home in the morning, telling them of Brian’s condition. The couple immediately replied with concerned questions and sending well wishes for the younger also while firmly telling Jae to take good care of him and tend him back to health as if he’s not already doing just that.

 _I swear, sometimes I feel like they adore Brian more than they do me._ Jae thinks to himself in fond amusement while stirring the pot, recalling how, back when they started dating, his mom made Brian to start calling her “mama”. (Although to be fair, she also wanted the other members to call her that. After all, she sees them as her sons now but somehow, it means something else whenever Brian calls her by that name.)

When the food is ready, Jae prepares a full bowl, pours water into a glass, and slices an apple before bringing the whole tray into his room. Balancing it on one hand, he turns on the lights with his free one and slightly cringing as the sudden harsh lights flood the space.

Walking closer to the bed, he sets the food on the nightstand beside the box of tissues before gently nudging his boyfriend awake.

“Bri?” He calls softly. “Time to eat, love.”

Brian doesn’t budge, just moaning in protest as he brings the pillow over his face to block out the lights.

“Come on, babe. I made your favorite ramen.” He reaches a hand to card his fingers smoothly through the younger’s hair. And he almost recoils when he feels just how bad Brian’s fever has gotten.

“Oh shit, Bri, you’re burning up!” Jae feels his heartbeat start to pick up, suddenly not knowing what to do as worry instantly clouds his judgment. He lists all the things he did in mind, trying to find out if he missed something; _I pretty much smothered him with a thick blanket, lowered the thermostat for the AC so he wouldn’t feel cold…_ _I already gave him his flu meds, why aren’t they doing their thing? What else do I need to do?!_

Slightly frantic, he looks around the room for something that might give him an idea. And when his eyes land on his phone, he immediately picks it up to give his mother a call.

Thankfully, she answers on the third ring.

“Jaehyung, how’s—”

“Mom, I need your help.” He tells her, urgent.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Her tone adopts a worried edge.

“Brian’s fever got worse and I don’t know what to do.” He’s trying hard to keep the panic out of his voice. “I made him take meds, made sure he’s toasty warm in bed so he wouldn’t feel cold. I just— Mom, how do I get his temperature to go down?”

“Alright, listen carefully, okay?” His mom tells him, sounding determined which immediately starting to soothe his worries. _Okay, good. Mom knows what to do, thank god_. “There’s this one thing I always did whenever you’d have high fever back when you were a child. You used to hate it so don’t always do it but, nonetheless, it successfully lowers your body temperature. Start by filling a large bowl with water and add in a few ice cubes—it needs to be really cold. Get a towel cloth and damp it on the ice water. Proceed by dabbing the wet cloth from Brian’s head to toe. Slowly run it on his head, face, neck, basically stay longer on parts that are usually the hottest. Don’t forget to also run it down his arms, torso, and legs, okay? Make sure to lower the AC a little because in addition to the ice bath, obviously you’ll have to take his clothes off. Have another towel ready to dry him with it and change him into comfy pajamas when you’re done. And after that, have him eat something because medicines work better with a full stomach.”

It was simple enough so Jae quickly follows the instructions but still keeping his mother on the line lest he had another question. After getting a wash bowl from the laundry room and filling it up with ice water, he goes back to sitting beside Brian on the bed.

He gently pries the pillow away from the younger’s grasp saying, “Brian, you’re burning up. I’m going to give you an ice bath, okay?”

Brian just groans in reply, still not stirring awake.

“Help me out here, babe, we need to get your fever down.”

“Slightly elevate his head up.” He hears his mom’s voice suggest through the speaker.

Jae does as told, snaking his hand under Brian’s neck and gently lifting it to fit another pillow. As he’s reaching over the younger, Brian must’ve felt his proximity—like a sixth sense or a moth drawn to a flame—as he calls in a breathy whisper, “Hyung…”

“Shh, I’m right here, babe.” Jae reassures him, leaning his head down to press a soft kiss between the younger’s eyebrows in an attempt to smoothen out his frown. “I’ll make you feel better, okay, my love?”

He starts by placing the damp towel over Brian’s forehead, gently patting his way down the younger’s face, over his eyelids, his cheeks and then his neck. He pulls at the collar of Brian’s shirt to reveal his collarbones.

“Did you lower the AC?” Even Jae’s mom had her voice lowered out of consideration not to disturb the half-asleep Brian.

“Yeah, mom.” He tells her before once again nudging the younger to get a coherent response from him. “Babe, tell me if it gets too uncomfortable, okay? I promise I’ll make it quick, sweetheart.”

Like a mother hen dotting over her kid, Jae also showers his boyfriend with praises and pet names. In addition to the care that he’s providing, he wants to comfort the younger with his words. And just like how rare this vulnerable side of Brian makes an appearance, the same goes for Jae letting himself show just how caring and sweet he can be. As he has already suspected before, it’s really looking like Brian—and only Brian—can bring out the worst and best parts of the older.

Brian whimpers at the cold sensation. Now Jae gets why he hated this as a kid; the sting of the ice water is definitely uncomfortable. He quickly follows with his free hand, the one not holding the damp cloth, drying Brian’s skin with the extra towel.

Jae clicks his tongue, a tiny frown finding its way on his smooth face as a result of his concern over his boyfriend’s discomfort. “I’ll start taking off your clothes now, is that alright?”

He’s warning him so that he wouldn’t feel too overwhelmed with the sudden coldness. Not that he ever explicitly asked for permission before taking the younger’s clothes off whenever they would get intimate. After they did it for the first time, it’s become an unspoken thing between them—consent. It’s a luxury that they constantly enjoy having. But of course, out of politeness and just their overall good core values, they still make sure to ask; pulling slightly away from a kiss to look into each other’s eyes before deciding to let things escalate, stilling their pleasurable ministrations to give a questioning glance before sneaking a hand underneath the waistband of the other’s boxers, and tentative touches before slipping a finger inside that puckering muscle of heat. And these subtle questions are always, _always_ answered with a hurried nod, a breathy moan of approval, or a garbled and desperate “yes, please”.

Brian weakly gives him a nod and hums his response, “Okay…” before turning in his position in bed a little so that all of the buttons on his pajama top are visible to Jae.

Jae quickly gets to it, effectively removing one button after another and swiftly taking it off the younger’s torso. He continues patting him down on both shoulders, across the chest, his stomach, and his arms. All the while, Brian is either hissing from the cold or whimpering from the warmth of Jae’s hands.

Jae keeps murmuring encouraging words to try to ease Brian’s discomfort. “You’re being such a good sport. We’re halfway done, my love.”

Under normal circumstances, he would’ve been a flustered mess at getting caught being this toothachingly sweet to his boyfriend by his mother on the other line. She will most definitely gush about the two of them the next time they meet more than she already does these days. But since this isn’t a usual occurrence and Jae’s focus is mainly on trying to get Brian’s fever to go down, and going as far as not caring about anything else at the moment. He efficiently does the task, leaving the younger in only his boxers.

He proceeds doing Brian’s lower half the same thing that he did to his upper body, this time he’s faster and surer with his actions. Brian gets accustomed to the feeling as his hand rests on his boyfriend’s leg, needing something of Jae’s to hold.

Once Jae has finished drying his skin with the bath towel, he goes to dressing the younger with a new set of pajamas.

“I’m going to feed you now, okay, baby?” He tells Brian. “Which do you want, ramen or apples? You need to have something in your stomach so that your meds can finally start doing their fucking job.”

Brian smiles faintly at the older’s words, looking at him through his eyelashes. Jae feels relieved to see that he’s more coherent now as the younger replies, “Just the apples please, hyung.”

With a satisfied nod, Jae grabs the plate of sliced apples on the nightstand. He nudges Brian to lie on his side so as to avoid the chance of him choking as he starts to feed him a piece.

“Who’s being the big baby now?” Jae teases, voicing his earlier thoughts to the younger.

Brian playfully narrows his eyes in a glare while chewing on a slice. “Shut up.” He replies grumpily before breaking off into a soft chuckle.

“I can sense that I’m no longer needed here.” Jae’s mom speaks up over the phone, effectively startling the two. “I’m hanging up now. Get well soon, Brian, my dear!” She hangs up without waiting for a reply.

Jae sheepishly explains after seeing the look of surprise on Brian’s face, “I forgot I had her on speaker.” He gives off a nervous laughter before feeding another slice.

“You’re such an idiot, babe.” Brian says, amused.

Jae waits for it.

“But you’re my idiot.” The younger finishes, before nuzzling his head against Jae’s thigh.

Among other quirks, the previous exchange is also something that became their thing. Back when they were still just “best friends Jae and Brian”, they kept saying it to the other throughout the years as a way of teasing. But it was always just the first part though; _“You’re being an idiot, Bri”,_ resulting to a playful shove in the arm from Brian. And that’s it, no follow-up. But after they started dating, after they became boyfriends who are shamelessly whipped for each other, the last part is just something that naturally happened. They can’t even remember who started it.

It’s basically their way of declaring their love for the other without actually saying those three words. And it usually slips out during moments of absolute fondness just like now. Because, really, everyone they know can agree. They are simply each other’s idiots, just two fools in love.

After Brian has finished all of the apples, Jae removes the extra pillow and gives it back so Brian could return to cuddling it like before. He made the younger drink all of the water in the glass first before getting up from the bed. However, the grip on his wrist stops him from moving farther away.

“Please stay.” Brian calls to him with soft eyes that instantly melt Jae’s heart.

“I’ll just put these away, babe.” He gestures to the tray of food on the nightstand and the wash bowl full of cold water. “I promise I’ll be quick, okay?”

Brian sighs, letting go as he says, “Okay.”

Jae quickly bends down to give his forehead a peck before balancing the tray on one hand while holding the wash bowl with the other. But as he gets to the door, he realizes his mistake. With a groan, he places the wash bowl on the floor, careful not to spill, before opening the door, and picking it back up. Jae mumbles that it’s because all of the worrying that he did the past hour has exhausted his brain. But either way, Brian doesn’t make fun of his mistake as he just watches the whole thing with a fond smile on his face.

True to his words, Jae returns to the room in no time. After changing into his own pajamas and turning off the lights, he joins Brian on the bed and immediately, Brian encases him in his arms.

“Thank you for taking care of me, hyung.” Brian says against his chest, tightening his hold on the older for good measure.

“Anything for you, BriBri.” Jae replies, his finger softly caressing the younger’s cheek. He feels himself release a sigh of relief upon noticing that Brian’s skin is no longer burning up. He’s still slightly warm to the touch but at least it’s no longer as alarming as before. “You scared me, babe.”

He feels the vibration on his chest as Brian lightly chuckles against him. “Such a worrywart.” But in a quieter voice, he adds, “I’m sorry.” He tells him.

Except he’s already forgiven way before he even uttered the words.

Of course, he is.

Jae doesn’t really have an ounce of strength to deny Brian of anything. Not that he ever tried to do so in the first place.

Jae lets his actions speak for him as he tilts his head down to give the younger’s cheek a soft kiss, his hand easily finding its way onto Brian’s hair with slender fingers carding through the soft strands.

They settle into a comfortable silence, both exhausted from the events of the day. Jae listens to the even sound of Brian’s breathing, letting that finally calm him down as he feels himself succumbing to sleep. And after a few moments, Brian stares up at him to admire the peace and serenity that washed over his boyfriend’s face. Gratitude and devotion for the older flooding his heart as Brian imagines what it would have been like if he were alone tonight.

For the millionth time, he marvels at how lucky he is that out of all of the people in the world, Jae chose _him_. How before he even met Jae, Brian believed he would never get to experience loving someone with the kind of love that he’s written into their songs, how they’re all just drawn from movies and books and not from personal experience. How Jae was, and still is, such a big part of who he is as a person. How, at the start of their relationship, he used to think that Jae could do so much better than him. However, since Brian couldn’t even fathom the idea of seeing Jae with someone else, Brian has decided that he will just be better for him. Be the person that someone as ethereal as Jae deserves. That’s why starting then, he has fully committed himself to the older.

And, it might just be the sickness that’s making him this sappy but, he thinks he has successfully become that person now.

(But of course, Jae would argue that Brian has always been that person for him.)

He rests his head against Jae’s chest, the sound of the older’s heart beating evenly lulling him into sleep.

This time, Brian claims it’s definitely the flu meds talking as he wonders that if he listens closely enough, could he hear Jae’s heart beating for him that way that his own heart is beating for the older? (And again, if he asks his boyfriend, Jae would easily say that it is. And always has been.)

Truly these thoughts are just a side of effect of the drugs as Brian would never be caught dead thinking them, much less saying them out loud. Or so he says. But anyway, they have their whole lives ahead of them, plenty of time to tell each other of these things.

It’s really such an indescribable feeling to be loved by Jae and to wholeheartedly love him in return—Brian also claims that it’s the most beautiful feeling in the world.

About to turn in for the night, Brian softly whispers, “I love you,” to Jae before pressing a kiss on the latter’s chest, just right above his heart. The soft sound of Jae mumbling something back in his sleep is the last thing that Brian’s hears before closing his eyes to sleep.

Jae wakes up to the sound of Brian’s voice.

“Babe, time to get up.” Brian gently nudges his shoulder.

In response, Jae sleepily reaches a hand to the side in an attempt to pull the younger’s body closer to his own except his fingers meet nothing but sheets and pillows.

Confused and slightly disoriented, he turns on his side, eyeing the rest of the room to look for his boyfriend only to find him changing into a different shirt, one that he got from Jae’s closet.

“What are you doing up, Bri? You should still be in bed, don’t strain yourself. Are you okay? How are you feeling?” He asks with a frown, sitting up in bed in concern.

Brian is quick to reassure him as he says, “I feel fine now, I promise. I still have a slight cold but thankfully, I don’t have a fever anymore. I even woke up feeling fully energized all thanks to my handsome nurse from last night.” He informs Jae before ruffling the latter’s hair and chuckling at the resulting strands sticking out in different directions.

Jae stretches his long limbs to try to shake off the lingering sleep as he asks, “What time is it?”

“It’s 10 in the morning.”

“Oh, shit,” Jae curses, swinging his legs off the bed and standing up. “Why didn’t you wake me sooner? Have you eaten? What do you want for breakfast? I know I’m not as good as you at cooking but I make a mean batch of pancakes. Or if you don’t want that, we can—”

Brian cuts him off. “Also, your mom is here.”

“What?” Jae doesn’t fully register the words but he doesn’t have to because his mom answers the question for him.

“Come on, lovebirds! Jaehyung-ah, get your lazy butt off the bed!” They hear Jae’s mom call from the other side of the door.

“Your phone kept ringing earlier and when I answered it, your mom was already outside the dorm, carrying a bag full of meals in a Tupperware, and asking to be let in.” Brian explains after seeing Jae’s confused look. “But that was like an hour ago. We got distracted chatting that’s why I forgot to wake you right away. Plus, I also figured you needed the rest after taking care of me last night.”

In response, Jae groans in protest before pulling Brian into a surprise embrace. “Can we just stay in bed a little longer? I want to cuddle you more.” He whines like a little kid.

And Brian would have easily relented if they didn’t hear Jae’s mom calling to them again. “Food’s getting cold!”

At the small dining table, Jae’s mom has laid out a variety of breakfast meals and comfort food that are both Korean and American; tteokboki and cheeseburgers, cold noodles and pancakes with maple syrup (“As a little treat for you, dear. I got it from the most popular brand in Canada.” She proudly tells Brian to which the younger feels incredibly appreciative of).

“I’m really glad you’re feeling better now, Brian.”

“All thanks to Jae, surprisingly.” Brian adds the last part as a joke but really, Jae is nothing but perfectly attentive and absolutely caring last night.

“By the way,” Jae’s mom’s voice adopts an excited tone, “how was he at playing nurse?”

“Well, I’m still alive so there’s that.”

“Hey!”

“No but really, you should have seen him, ma, he was just the sweetest thing. I kinda wish I get sick more often now if it means that I get to see that side of him.” Brian says truthfully, reaching under the table to give Jae’s thigh an appreciative squeeze.

The two continue to chat as Jae quietly watches the whole exchange. He secretly admires the sight of his mother dotting over his boyfriend, treating him as if he’s her own son. It pulls at his heart strings to see them so familiar and casual with each other.

 _I could actually get used to this._ He thinks to himself as he hopes to see more of moments like this in the future.

**”**

The faint sound of Jae’s voice from outside the curtains pulls Brian’s attention from his phone.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna wake Brian up. I think Wonpil and Dowoon just want to sleep-in until we get to the hotel.” Jae says. “You go on ahead, Sungjin.”

“Don’t go too far though.” Sungjin replies, his voice sounding quieter as Brian assumes his almost on his way out of the bus.

“Nah, I’ll probably just use the comfort room. Don’t know about Brian though.” And on the contrary to Sungjin, Jae’s voice sounded a lot closer. He’s probably standing right in front of the sleeping pods.

Brian immediately scrambles to lock his phone and proceeding to close his eyes, keeping up the pretense that he’s been asleep the whole time and not reading the story for the past hour. He figures it’s time to fully commence his plan of showing Jae his true feelings as opposed to just outright confessing. After all, he’s always believed that actions speak louder than words. (Of course, he forgets to take into account whether or not Jae will be able to pick up on those advances. Forgets that the success of his plan is heavily relying on Jae completely understanding what he’s trying to say through his actions. He just immediately assumed that, since they’ve both been too painfully obvious about their feelings for each other, Jae would naturally know what his intentions are. But that’s something they’ll have to tackle more later on.)

He hears the sound of the curtain being drawn followed by the gentle touch of Jae on his shoulder. “Bri, we’re at the stopover. Come on, you said you wanted to get something to eat.”

Brian squints at him, at the sudden intrusion in his dark chambers, groggy as if his foot is still in the threshold of dreamland. “What time is it?”

Jae checks his phone. “3am.”

Yawning for good measure, Brian makes a move to get up from the bus’s lame excuse of a bed. “Can we go to a convenience store together, hyung? Assuming there is one nearby. I want to buy chocolates.”

Beside him, Jae immediately stills his entire frame. Hesitantly and with bated breath, he asks, “What do you mean by that?”

Brian frowns at him, confused. “Nothing… I was just craving sweets.”

Jae’s shoulders visibly sag in relief. “Oh, yeah. Of course.”

“Why are you being weird?”

Hand to his heart, Jae gravely replies, “Just… midlife crisis, man.”

Ah, Jae’s back to normal again, or at least his own version of normal, making jokes to get himself out of uncomfortable situations.

“Hyung, you’re only a 27-year-old dude.” Brian counters, casually slinging a hand on Jae’s shoulders before adding, “One who looks like he just turned 16 but that’s beside the point.”

Jae plays along. “Why don’t I look legal enough though?”

“Hm,” Brian pretends to consider. “You’re right, let’s make you at least 18. Can’t date someone when they’re barely legal now, can I?”

Jae pretends the remark didn’t make his heart skip a beat. _Now what did he mean by_ that _?!_ He screams into his mind.

Brian sees the light pink dusting the tips of Jae’s ears and cheeks. And in a moment of absolute fondness, his hand curls around the side of Jae’s neck as he pulls the latter’s face closer so that he could nuzzle his nose on the older’s temple. He musters just enough restraint to stop himself from breathing Jae in.

Jae doesn’t say anything either as he continues freaking out. _And what the fuck was that for?!_

They get out of the bus with Brian sporting a satisfied smile, completely oblivious to the older’s inner turmoil. He’s practically dragging Jae down the sidewalk, the older too stunned to do anything but follow along. And as much as how Brian’s previous words and actions surprised and confused him, Jae can’t deny that he took every bit of satisfaction from it as he leans just a little bit closer. Close enough to feel Brian’s warmth but far enough for it to still be categorized as friendly.

Beside him, Jae admires how the younger is just so full of life, excited, and overall happy at the moment that he forgets to bring a jacket as they walk the streets of a foreign European town on a cold Tuesday night, or extremely early Wednesday morning if you wish to be technical.

Inside the store, Jae couldn’t help but feel a sense of déjà vu wash over him as they roam the aisles together. However, he knows for certain that this never happened to them before, that the thing he’s been feeling is just brought about by the fresh memory of that scene he read in the story. He points out the differences in his mind though, as if convincing himself just how opposite the story was compared to their current reality; the person behind the counter is a middle-aged woman instead of a dude on his twenties, him and Brian aren’t holding hands (Brian still has his arm around Jae’s shoulder but, again, the latter decides that’s beside the point because they’re “homies” and homies do these type of things), and lastly, they aren’t looking like a couple of suspicious guys with their masks on and hoods up like how they were described in the story—before going out into the night, Jae and Brian didn’t feel the need to disguise themselves because, once again, Jae is painfully reminded of probably the most important detail of all, that compared to the story, they’re not in a relationship in real life, secretly or otherwise. There’s no danger of being found out or exposed by the media. What would the headline even be? _“BREAKING: DAY6’s Jae and Young K reportedly buying chocolates at a convenience store together”_? Doesn’t sound that much appealing.

But back to the matter at hand, for the past fifteen minutes, he’s been struggling to get a clear read on Brian. The younger had seemed much too clingy to him—well, clingi _er_ than usual. Not once did he ever let Jae go, never letting him get far; a grip on the older’s wrist, an arm across his shoulders, a pinky finger hooked against his own… really, they haven’t touched this much since the last time Jae got a bad case of the night terrors last two months ago that Brian had to cuddle him well into the late morning the following day.

Brian presenting a bag of candy to his face breaks him from his thoughts. “You love this, right, hyung? I’m getting it for you. Don’t worry, my treat.”

It’s just plain old bag of licorice. And under normal circumstances, Jae would have easily dug into his favorite candy, one he’s loved since he was a kid. But since he’s not in the mood for it right now, or anything really, his mind still too clogged up with thoughts about Brian that he almost declines the offer. Except he considers that if he says no, and after seeing the look on his face, the younger would want to know what’s wrong. And Jae can’t exactly tell him the truth now, can he?

_Hey, Bri. Your actions have been confusing me for the last fifteen minutes. Can you please stop? Because if you continue doing them, I would have to eat my words as I might actually do something about these certain feelings that I have for you after I just told Sungjin that I wouldn’t do anything. Or better yet, don’t stop. Keep going forever because even though I’m conflicted, I love the way that your touches make me feel all happy and warm…_

Yeah, Jae figures it wouldn’t go over well.

So, he just simply nodded, watching as Brian happily tugs at his wrist to pull him into the direction of the register.

After the lady rings their items, Brian pays for everything. And as they wait while she counts the change, the younger shows Jae the picture on his wallet. On the upper right corner, over the photo the five of them took after their very first fan meeting with their eyes barely dried from crying, is a small picture of Jae and Brian.

Something tugs at Jae’s chest when he recognizes when and where it was taken. It was during their first world tour in America, Jae and Brian decided to ride a tour bus to see some parts of the States together. Inside the bus, Jae was asleep with his head resting on Brian’s shoulder. The younger took a photo of the two of them using the front camera of his phone with his head tilted down to rest it on top of Jae’s. However, since the bus was driving on a particularly bumpy road, instead of looking at the camera, Brian was smiling while staring at Jae, making sure that he doesn’t startle awake from all of the jostling. Jae recalls how, after he woke up and Brian showed it to him, he told the younger to delete it, saying it’s unfair because Jae’s hair was a mess while Brian’s still looked decent. And how, after going back and forth for a bit, Brian relented to Jae’s whining that’s not at all annoying and just downright adorable. (Not that Brian would ever admit to thinking that. At least, not out loud.)

 _He didn’t get rid of it after all…_ Jae thinks in slight wonder.

“You remember this, hyung?” Brian prompts softly, watching all of the emotions play out on Jae’s eyes. “We had such a great time during that tour, huh?”

“Yeah,” despite his conflicted thoughts, Jae finds himself smiling fondly at the memory. “We really did.”

“You know what I think?”

“What?”

“When we have enough free time in the future, I want to take you on a tour to Toronto. Bring you to all of the places I used to frequent, show you my high school, and eat at my favorite restaurants.” There’s a wistful smile on Brian’s face. “I really would love for you to see my hometown through my eyes the same way you introduced me to LA.”

Jae feels himself being drawn to the intensity of Brian’s eyes, lets himself get lost in their depths. He faintly feels the younger’s thumb slowly caressing the inside of his palm as they continue staring into each other’s eyes, a question hidden in both of theirs. _God, Bri, what are you doing to me?_

But before Jae could even formulate a proper response, the lady is already handing them a paper bag full of their items. Wordlessly, they walk out of the store, with Brian still consistently gripping his wrist. However, the moment they get out the door and into the night, a blast of cold air hits their faces. Jae immediately puts aside his jumbled thoughts as he notices that Brian is only wearing a long-sleeved shirt and no coat or jacket to protect himself from the weather. The older pulls them to a stop on the sidewalk, retrieves his hand back from the younger’s grasp, and answers Brian’s questioning look by shrugging off his own jacket.

He sees Brian start to protest, gently pushing away the offered clothing but Jae would have none of it. “Just take it, Bri. It’s cold. And don’t worry about me, I’m literally wearing two layers underneath this hoodie.”

Brian still doesn’t make a move to accept the jacket so Jae goes to stand behind him and put it on the younger’s shoulders himself. “You’re so stubborn, Bri. Besides, it’s only a short walk back to the gas station, don’t worry about me.” He finishes with a light chuckle.

Brian doesn’t put up much of a fight after that. In a small voice, he says, “Thank you, hyung.”

After putting his arms through the sleeves, Jae’s eyes widen a fraction upon seeing Brian blatantly breathing in the older’s lingering scent on the jacket. “God, you smell incredible, hyung.”

Jae stands speechless before him, his mind once again struggling to make sense of the younger’s actions.

Brian just throws him a grateful smile before reaching out to grab both of Jae’s hands, bringing it closer to his lips and blowing warm breaths against the older’s skin. His lips are barely brushing against Jae’s fingers. “It’s so they won’t get cold.” He easily explains. “Don’t want you getting sick because of me.”

Throughout the whole exchange, Jae just lets Brian do it. He really doesn’t have much will to stop him when he appreciates all of the attention he’s being given. But he also knows that in the long run, this will only hurt him more. How he’s gotten so close to getting what he wants—openly showering Brian with love the way he wants to and getting loved in return—but still somehow not getting close enough.

Brian’s advances have been sending mixed signals to Jae except… _not really?_ Not really that ‘mixed’, not by a long shot. Because if you look at it from an outsider’s perspective, Brian is clearly flirting with Jae; even coming on too strong at times. But see, that’s the thing that confuses Jae the most. All throughout their friendship, Brian has never acted this way towards him before, never really crossed the line that he used to think is uncrossable (all of the ‘ _I love you, hyung_ ’s was always followed with ‘ _You’re the best friend I ever had_ ’), never been this blatant and with complete disregard to the unspoken boundaries between them that Jae have set all throughout the years out of self-preservation (there weren’t that many but still, they’re _there_ ; whenever Brian would wrap his hands around him after a nightmare, Jae never permitted himself to enjoy it as more than being comforted by a friend, never assumed that Brian’s intentions are more than what they are—platonic). He has also never been this forward, touchy-feely, and just overall sweet that Jae wonders if he’s suddenly seeing things.

Is he being unfair by putting different meaning into the younger’s actions because he’s projecting what he read from the story and into their real lives? Is he making this up or Brian really just kissed his cheek as a way of thanking him? Is it just him or did Brian not only cross the line so much in just one night as if there wasn’t even a line between them in the first place?

 _What’s gotten into you tonight, Brian?_ Jae wants to know for what feels like the millionth time in a span of less than an hour.

After reaching the bus, Jae remembers that he hasn’t even gotten to the comfort room the way he needed to do in the first place, Brian once again successfully distracting him from everything.

“Um,” he hesitantly starts, disentangling their fingers which somehow ended up getting intertwined on their walk back to the bus. _How did I even let that happen?_ “You go on ahead, Bri. I gotta—I have to pee.”

Brian lightly chuckles at him. “Okay, hyung. Don’t take too long.” He’s still laughing while making his way into the bus, muttering words that Jae couldn’t help but overhear, “How adorable.”

As he’s washing his hand in the gritty sink after doing his business, he looks at himself in the mirror. The heat in his cheeks have almost disappeared now but the confused frown remains on his face. Him and Brian have always been close but not _this_ close. Jae’s willing to bet a lot of money that everyone who saw them earlier easily thought that they’re boyfriends, no questions asked. He couldn’t help but think that they’re basically acting like their fictional selves now—a thought that he immediately dismisses because of how ridiculous it sounded.

First, it’s just fiction. It’s made-up (he still doesn’t see why people are claiming that it’s “as close to reality as possible” which is so ironic that it’s almost laughable now). Second, as he’s reiterated to himself almost countless of times already, he can’t compare them to their characters because they are not in a romantic relationship. That’s the main reason why he’s conflicted; Brian’s suddenly acting as if they are. And third, he knows Brian doesn’t even have any idea what the story is about, much less have read it.

So, there must be a different reason why Brian’s acting this way. However, Jae knows that he can’t just go and ask him because he already promised himself never to pursue that route. He’s already given it a lot of thought for months and he’s always arrived at that conclusion. Their friendship is the most successful relationship he’s ever had apart from his family. He just can’t handle putting it all at risk. And confronting Brian is doing the completely opposite of that. _Come on, Jae. You’re stronger than this. Think of your friendship and all the things at stake if you start to act on these feelings._

He gives himself a slap on the cheeks, left and right. He decides that whatever this is—this _fluke_ —that’s happening between them now, he’ll just ride it out until they’re back to normal. He’ll just distance himself a little when it gets too much. But, knowing himself, he also probably wouldn’t because he secretly enjoys the younger’s advances a little too much.

After giving his reflection a final, resolute nod, he goes to leave the room.

He finds Brian and Sungjin sitting at the back of the bus, both on their phones and minding their own businesses. He sees Brian looking up at him as he approaches so the younger pats the empty space beside him as an invitation. With a sigh, Jae simply does as told. Again, conflicted thoughts or not, he doesn’t have it in himself to deny Brian of anything.

As Jae settles down on the seat, feet propped up on the tiny makeshift center table after the bus started moving again, he can faintly hear sounds of explosions and gunshots from Sungjin’s direction so he easily assumes that their leader is playing games. On the other hand, he notices Brian smiling and occasionally laughing at something on his phone.

“What’s so funny?” He finds himself asking Brian after a few minutes. He only said it because he didn’t want to seem weird just staring at nothing like that. Plus, he’s got a love-hate relationship with his own phone right now, the memory of that accidental tweet still fresh in his mind.

“Hyung,” Brian starts with excitement taking over his tone. “I’ve been reading tweets from our fans about what happened earlier. And I swear, they are some of the funniest people out there.”

Jae is so focused on admiring the glint in Brian’s eyes that he almost doesn’t hear the younger’s next words. “You see, hyung, I read the story that you tweeted and—”

“Woah, woah, wait.” Jae cuts him off. “What? You read it?”

“Yeah,” Brian easily replies, eyes still glued to his phone so he doesn’t notice how tense Jae has become. “And it’s just so funny because—”

“It’s _funny_?” Jae repeats as a heartbreaking realization dawn on him. Unfortunately, he begins to interpret everything in the worst way possible.

_He finds the idea of us dating as funny? Something laughable? God, how have I been so fucking naïve! Of course, he would find it funny! It’s not like he had romantic feelings for me in the first place! And, oh God, is this why he suddenly started doing those things earlier? To mess with me? Did he somehow find out that I have feelings for him?!_

This time, Brian picks up on the sudden edge on the older’s tone. “What’s wrong, Jae?”

“You read it even though I told you not to?” Jae accuses in a monotone. His voice sounded so cold Brian almost shivered from it.

He sees the younger putting down his phone and reaching out to grab his arm. He immediately pulls away, making Brian flinch from the sudden movement. Jae can also see in his peripheral vision that Sungjin has stopped playing and is suddenly watching the two of them, ready to intervene.

“Well, yeah…” Brian reluctantly replies. “I was curious why you didn’t want me to, plus I was bored so—”

“Good to know you were entertained then!” Jae’s voice has risen. “Is the story the reason why you started acting like that earlier?”

He sees Brian trying to shake his head, no doubt about to counter his words.

“Don’t even fucking deny it, Brian. You and I both know damn well you were doing something. So tell me,” Jae prepares himself for the worst as he repeats, “is the story the reason why you started acting like that?”

Worry and slight confusion are evident in Brian’s eyes as he says, “Yes, hyung…”

Jae stands up from the couch, having gotten his answer.

Brian frantically adds, “But I swear, it’s not in the way that you think!”

“Whatever, Brian.” Jae tells him dismissively as he heads to his own sleeping pod. He ignores Sungjin’s gaze, afraid he might see pity in them. “I’m glad to know you had your fun.” He finishes before putting on his airpods, climbing into bed, and announcing to no one in particular, “Just don’t talk to me right now unless it’s about the band,” before shutting the curtains with a little more force than necessary.

Brian looks at Sungjin for help, seeming lost and not knowing what to do. He got so turned around by what just happened. In fact, he still can’t even fully comprehend _what_ happened. One second he was just interacting with their fans using his fake account and sharing his favorite parts in the story, then the next… Jae got angry at him after finding out that he read it? And honestly, yes, he did start acting like that after reading but that’s because the story gave him courage! And he only kept on doing those things because he figured Jae liked it too! _Hell, he even tightened his fingers when I held them!_ If he had shied away from the younger’s touches, Brian would have immediately stopped. After all, he didn’t want to do anything that would make Jae uncomfortable.

“What did you do?” Sungjin asks him accusatively.

“I honestly don’t know!” Brian replies, still a little frantic. “We were fine when we went to the convenience store, fine when he got back from the comfort room.”

“What was this thing that you did then? The one that Jae kept mentioning.” Sungjin prompts, trying to understand so that he can find a way to help his friends. He’s a little worried because this is the worst fight he’s ever seen Jae and Brian have, no matter how quick it was; all those arguments they had back when Jae started training with the company pale in comparison to this. Because back then, they always talked it out, discussed all of their disagreements. Sure, there were raised voices too but at least neither of them has ever shut the other out with so much dismissiveness that it’s downright bone-chilling just to witness it.

Without hesitation, Brian tells him everything. Starting from when he created the account to look for the link, to reading the story, to realizing that Jae has read it too because he seemed to know so much about it, and to formulating a plan to show Jae how similar they are with their fictional characters. It’s like it’s not even fiction anymore but a fucking documentary of their relationship.

And Brian’s not blind, he’s always thought that Jae has feelings for him too, can see it in the older’s eyes with every glance they share on stage, every time he relaxes against Brian’s arms in bed after waking up screaming from a nightmare, every time he complains about the younger borrowing his shirts without permission but still lets him wear it anyway. How they’re both just too afraid to do anything because they didn’t want it to affect the band negatively if ever someone finds out. Sure, in the story, they were able to successfully pull through. But at the end of the day, it’s still just fiction. The variables are controlled. But isn’t that the extra push that they needed? Besides, they wouldn’t be the first and only gay couple in this industry, right? That’s just realistically and statistically impossible. A lot has already come and went before them without ever being exposed so it’s definitely doable.

He’s just so lost and confused because he genuinely thought that Jae came to the same conclusion as he did. Now he’s starting to question whether or not he just imagined all of Jae’s past not-so-friendly actions towards him too.

So, see? This is where Brian’s mistake of assuming that Jae got into the same conclusion as him comes back to bite him in the ass. _I should have just outright confessed instead of doing this whole bullshit of “actions speak louder than words”. God, Younghyun! Great way to ruin things before they even started!_

He spills everything to Sungjin—even his hope that after this night, him and Jae can finally own up to their feelings and start dating (well, that was before their fight. His hope is almost completely shattered now). He doesn’t leave anything out because, just like Jae was earlier, he’s desperate and asking for Sungjin’s help.

“Wow…” is all that their leader says once Brian has finished talking.

“Sungjin, help me please.” Brian begs. “Should I go talk to him? Explain how wrong he is?”

Sungjin shakes his head. “Let him blow off some steam first. Talk to him when you feel like he’s calmed down.”

Brian nods in understanding. “Okay, got it. But what do you think made him so angry like that?”

Without explicitly sharing their eldest’s feelings to Brian, although Sungjin already suspects Brian knows by now, he releases a breath before starting, “I have an idea but first you need to know that I wasn’t the one who tweeted the link to that story, it was Jae. He was reading it and accidentally included it when he was tweeting. He came to me for help earlier, asking how he can clear this whole thing out. He was afraid how you would react after finding out about the nature of the story. He was also embarrassed thinking about what the fans will say and how they might interpret it. So that’s why I think that your actions have confused him and after finding out that you only started doing those things after reading the story and that you have been interacting with the fans while laughing on your phone, he probably thought you were making fun of him. That, or he probably thought the story only influenced your actions, that they weren’t genuine and didn’t come solely from your heart.”

“But that’s not what happened, Sungjin.” Brian tries to argue.

“Sure, but I can’t blame Jae for thinking that way. After years of being his best friend, you suddenly act all sweet and started flirting with him for real as if he’s your boyfriend? See it from his perspective, Brian.” Sungjin throws him a meaningful look. “And tell me, if you didn’t read the story earlier, would you still have acted on those feelings or just kept them locked up in fear of risking your friendship?”

“I understand how it looks. I really do.” Brian tells him earnestly. “I know I messed up but you have to believe that these feelings are all mine and mine alone. No one and nothing forced me to do the things I do and feel the things I feel. And yeah, I may not have done anything now if I haven’t read the story but who can tell whether or not I won’t do anything tomorrow, or the week after this, or any day in the future? Have a little faith in me, Sungjin. I know I’ve spent almost six years not saying anything about the way I really feel to Jae but I’m honestly getting tired of pretending that I’m satisfied with being just his best friend. Especially when I know _for sure_ that we can become something great together.”

Sungjin scoots sideways to sit closer to Brian as he advices, “I’m not the one you have to convince here, Kang Bra. But for what it’s worth, I believe you.”

“Thank you.” Brian says. “I just wish he’d calm down quick so that I can finally tell him how I really feel. I think we can both agree that it’s been long overdue.”

Except Jae still hasn’t calmed down even after they get to their hotel. Or during rehearsal the following day. They roamed the beautiful streets of London after practice and Brian is upset because he couldn’t fully appreciate sight-seeing when Jae was left alone in the hotel after he opted out of coming with them. He said that even though Brian knows how excited he was to see the city. In fact, he has actively been avoiding Brian that the other members started to notice. It was Wonpil who approached him after they’re done packing their instruments, about to head back to the hotel. Jae has already finished putting his guitar in its case and is already at the car, waiting for the rest of them.

“Hyung, did you have a fight with Jaehyung-hyung?” The pianist asks him.

Unsurprisingly, Wonpil and Dowoon thought nothing of the whole Twitter mishap after Jae explained that Sungjin hacked his account. Jae and Sungjin still kept up the story because that’s what they also told their manager after he asked what happened. After a quick minor scolding to Sungjin, telling him to be more careful about using links that he doesn’t fully know what’s in them, everything was let go and basically everyone forgot about it quickly. Well, everyone other than Jae, Sungjin, and Brian of course.

“Yeah, Pil-ie.” Brian nods with a heavy sigh. “But it’s nothing we can’t overcome. Don’t worry.”

“Just let hyung’s anger pass, Brian-hyung.” Wonpil helpfully suggests before going out of the room.

Both Sungjin and Wonpil have told him the exact same thing and that’s what he’s been doing—waiting. But Brian’s just getting frustrated now because it’s looking like that’s not the case at all. He knows that Jae’s not the type to hold grudges. And his anger is often fleeting. He’s a person who easily forgives. So, Brian is getting a little antsy that Jae hasn’t even looked in his direction for almost two days now. But since he doesn’t want things to get worse, he lets Jae have this distance. For now.

Brian is about to take a shower in his hotel room when his phone rings on the bedside table. He frowns a little in confusion after reading the caller ID.

_“Auntie Park” calling…_

This is the contact name he assigned to Jae’s mom and it’s different to the one he assigned to Sungjin’s mom which says “Park-imo”. The change in the language had a lot to do with how Jae’s mom talks to Brian. She mostly speaks to him in English too.

 _Why is Mrs. Park calling me?_ He wonders before answering.

“Brian, honey!” Mrs. Park greets. “I hope I didn’t bother you?”

“No worries, auntie.” Brian politely assures her. “How are you and Mr. Park?”

“Oh, we’re good, sweetheart. You’re too kind.” She tells him with an easy chuckle. “What about you? I hope you’re eating well?”

“You know me, always a heavy-eater.” Brian jokes a little. He’s actually missed talking to the elder, she’s just been such a delightfully sweet and generous aunt throughout the years.

“So, um,” Mrs. Park starts after laughing at Brian’s remark. “I actually called to ask you for a favor, hun.”

“Anything, auntie.” Brian quickly replies.

“See, I’ve been calling Jaehyung for an hour now and he isn’t picking up. It just keeps coming directly to voicemail.” She informs him. “Maybe his phone is dead or whatever. Can you please tell him to call me as soon as he can? Tell him we’re buying something for Jaedong and we need his opinion.”

Brian doesn’t answer right away out of hesitation. He’s not really sure why he’s the first person that Jae’s mom came to talk to while looking for Jae. Maybe because they’re often attached at the hip that she assumed Jae’s with him at the moment? That’s got to mean something, right?

“Sure thing, auntie. He probably just forgot he left his phone on airplane mode again like last time.”

“I hope that isn’t the case because if it is, he’s going to get an earful.” Mrs. Park playfully threatens.

“I’ll tell him that too.” Brian says with a slight chuckle. “I gotta go, then.”

“Oh, alright! Mr. Park and I miss you too, Brian. Come to our house when tour’s over, okay? I’ll cook your favorite food!”

After Brian assures her that he will, they end the call. He doesn’t spend much time second-guessing what he’s about to do because if he does, he’ll just probably convince himself to chicken out. And he can’t do that to Mrs. Park just after he promised.

He’s currently stood in front of the door to Jae’s hotel room. He can faintly make out the sounds coming from whatever Jae is watching on the television. His hand is poised to knock on the door but Brian is still mustering up the strength to actually go through with it, the fear of getting ignored once again stopping him. But after taking a few deep breaths, he knocks two times before saying, “Hyung, it’s me.”

Jae doesn’t respond.

However, Brian notices that the volume from the TV has been turned down.

Encouraged by this, he continues, “Your mom called me to tell you to give her a call. She said she couldn’t reach you because your phone’s dead.”

Still no answer.

Brian waits for a few seconds, head resting on the door.

He waits a few more but when nothing else follows after, he whispers to the door, “Good night, Jae,” before going back to his room.

When he gets a good few meters away, he doesn’t notice Jae standing by his doorway and watching the younger for a few seconds before softly shutting the door.

The night of the concert comes and Brian is still no closer to speaking to Jae. Of course, they keep up the pretense that everything’s fine in front of their fans—Jae even laughed with the audience during one of his speeches after he told them that it was Sungjin who tweeted that link. They’ve cheered for each other, Jae introduced him before his bass solo saying “Give it up for Young K ladies and gentlemen!”, and Brian even retaliated by also saying “Give it up for the best guitarist!” after the older’s solo. On the surface, you wouldn’t know that something’s wrong.

But almost at the end of the concert, at the last few notes of their song Freely before they’re about to do the final bow while holding each other’s hands, Brian approaches the older as an attempt to stand beside him. Jae sees him coming close so immediately, he reaches for one of the bottles of water on the edge of the stage as an excuse to leave his place and let a different member stand beside Brian.

The younger tries to hide his crestfallen face as he sees Sungjin looking at him in slight concern, having seen the whole exchange. The sting of rejection tears through Brian’s heart but he pushes on, a smile finding its way back to his face as they say goodbye to their fans.

He’s no doubt disheartened by the gesture but, Brian is nothing if not stubborn and persistent. Backstage, he stops Jae from making a run to the dressing room by directly standing on the older’s path.

“What the fuck do you want?” Jae’s voice is emotionless but Brian doesn’t let himself get scared by the older’s words. He also knows that this is just another one of Jae’s tactics to get away from him.

“Hyung, can we please talk?” He begs, taking a step closer.

“I can’t right now.” Jae visibly takes a step back.

“Please, just hear me out.” Brian reaches a hand out to touch the older’s arm. However, the movement startles Jae as he immediately takes another step back and effectively bumping the back of his left shoulder on one of the low-hanging metallic frames of the stage with so much force that Jae flinches from the sudden pain. But when he sees Brian approaching to try to help him, he quickly says, “I’m fine,” before making his escape.

Brian lets him go this time because he knows that Jae is just as stubborn as him.

During their rehearsal for the concert in Amsterdam, Jae’s shoulder is just aching all over. And the strap of his guitar is only making things worse because it’s digging into the skin right over his bruise. For what feels like the hundredth time, he stretches his left arm in a circular motion to try to relieve some of the pain during one of their breaks. As he’s gently massaging the areas around the tender spot, he sees Dowoon approaching him so he quickly puts his hand down, trying to act cool.

He’s never told anyone that he’s hurting. For one, because it’s embarrassing how he got it. And for another, he just doesn’t want his members to worry, after all it’s just a bruise. Plus, he’s Jae. The greatest of all time. Master of self-preservation. He’ll be damned if he ever let anyone see him in pain, crying, or not in his best condition. It’s bad enough that he gets sick easily, he doesn’t want anyone else to think that he’s weak.

“Hyung, we’re eating out tonight. Wanna come?” Dowoon asks, taking a seat beside him on the stage.

“Who’s ‘we’?” Jae inquires.

“Us, the members.” Dowoon innocently shares to him. “And maybe manager-hyung.”

“I have to pass, Dowoon-ah.” He declines, as if regretful. “I have to do an Instagram-live to talk about my project. Just bring me a take-out or something.” He asks of the younger before handing him a copy of his keycard. “I might be out of the room when you get back so just let yourself in.”

“Okay, hyung.” Their youngest easily accepts before bounding over to Wonpil’s side to mess with him.

Jae makes a move to take off his guitar strap and winces when the muscles on his sore shoulder scream in protest from the strain. He almost groans out loud in pain.

 _We still have another concert tomorrow._ He complains, lying down on the stage. _I don’t need this right now._

Later that night, he gets a knock on his door. He makes a move to open as he starts, “Didn’t expect you to be back so soon, Dowoon-ah. What did you—”

“It’s me.” Brian announces, looking determined as he stands on the doorway.

“What are you doing here?” Jae demands.

Instead of answering, Brian slightly pushes past him to go inside the room.

Jae follows him with a frown after shutting the door with a heavy breath.

For a few seconds, they’re just stood there, looking at each other face-to-face as if in a stand-off. Before the tension gets too heavy in the room, Brian speaks up.

“Look, I know you’re not talking to me right now but I noticed that something’s wrong so here.” He thrusts his hand into the empty space between them.

“What’s this?” Jae eyes the thing that’s offered to him.

“It’s a bruising cream.” He informs the older. “I saw you hurting during practice so instead of coming to dinner, I bought this from the drug store down the street.”

Jae is speechless.

He really thought that no one saw him whenever he would let the pain get to him earlier, thought he had been successful at hiding this from everyone. But even then, Brian saw him. And with that thought, he realizes that Brian has always _seen_ him.

Brian clicks his tongue with the older’s lack of response. “Take off your shirt and let me apply it for you.”

“I can do it myself.” Jae objects, his voice suddenly quiet and weak. Its earlier fight gone.

“Show me if you properly reach it then I’ll go.” Brian counters in a slight challenging tone.

Jae attempts to do so, taking off his shirt to show Brian. He hears the younger let out at gasp upon seeing the bruise.

“Holy shit, Jae! It’s almost as big as a fucking baseball!” Brian exclaims, his tone adopting more than a hint of worry.

Jae doesn’t say anything. He hasn’t fully seen the bruise himself, his neck hurting from the effort of turning all the way to the side after trying to examine the spot in the mirror. But from what he’s been able to see, he knows it doesn’t look good.

“Hyung, just please let me do it for you.” Brian insists, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Please.”

Wordlessly, Jae gives him a small nod and turns around to let Brian apply it for him.

He feels the younger’s warm fingers touch his skin and he almost closed his eyes at the sudden contact. He’s missed Brian the past few days, missed talking to him, missed touching him. And all of this avoiding that he’s been doing is taking its toll on him. Now he feels deprived of his best friend. And judging from his reaction, he realizes he must’ve missed the younger more than he originally thought.

“Does that hurt?” Brian asks in a soft, gentle voice.

“No, it’s fine.” Jae answers just as quietly. In fact, it’s actually more than fine. It feels… good. Comforting.

He then feels warm breath against his skin. Turning his head a little to the left, he sees Brian’s puckered lips blowing air on top of the cream.

Brian notices him looking so he explains, “To get it to dry quicker so that when you put your shirt back on, it wouldn’t rub off.” He blows a few more before pulling away.

Another silence settles between them as they’re once again stood facing each other, neither saying the things that needed to be said. However, the heavy tension from before caused by the hurt that is flowing off of Jae is now replaced with nervous anticipation.

“Look, Bri—”

“I’m sorry.”

They both say at the same time.

As the younger’s words register in Jae’s mind, he’s holding his breath as he asks, “What exactly are you apologizing for?”

“That you’re hurting because of me.” Brian tells him, looking down at his feet out of guilt before glancing back up to meet Jae’s searching eyes. “This whole thing, your bruise, this fight between us, they’re all my fault.”

Jae frowns at him in confusion, his lips unconsciously forming into a slight pout. Brian would have cooed at the adorable sight if he could at the moment. “Sure, I was hurt by what you— by that other thing but come on, you can’t beat yourself up over the pain on my shoulder. That was entirely my fault.”

“Please, hyung,” Brian scoffs softly. “You wouldn’t have gotten hurt if I didn’t approach you that night after the concert. You clearly weren’t ready to talk to me but I was being selfish by cornering you and not putting your feelings into consideration. I’m really sorry.”

“No,” Jae argues further. “I got hurt because _I_ was being stupid and a coward.”

Brian couldn’t help but release a small chuckle at their words going back and forth, the two of them trying to take the blame. “This isn’t a competition, Jae. To ease my worries, please just let me apologize properly, at least for that.”

Sighing, Jae relents with a nod.

“Thank you.” Brian whispers in a small relief. “Hyung, I’m really sorry for causing you pain both physically and emotionally. But please, from now on, if something hurts, don’t ever hesitate to ask for help. You don’t even have to come to me if that’s not what you want, just come to the other members. Please. I genuinely hate seeing you hurting, Jae. And knowing that you’re too stubborn by hiding it for others’ sake fills me with such crippling worry and frustration. You have no fucking idea how much I care about you, how much the other members care about you too.” He pauses, mustering up enough courage to continue, “And you and I don’t have to talk about that other thing if it’s also what you want. If you want me to pretend that nothing happened, simply say the word and that’s it. I just want you to start talking to me again. I miss you a lot, hyung.” He finishes off in a quiet voice.

Jae’s heart pounds inside his chest. He’s standing there, half-naked, and melting under Brian’s intense gaze. His thoughts are running a mile a minute because of how the younger’s actions now contradict the cause of Jae’s anguish. He’s still a little hurt from their fight a few days ago, there’s no denying that. But Brian is very easily tearing down all of his walls with just those words.

He still doesn’t know what to say or what to do to fully express everything that he’s currently feeling and unfortunately, Brian takes his silence as another sign of rejection.

Brian’s frame visibly wilts like a dying plant as he starts to make his way to the door, muttering, “Sorry for bothering you, I guess.”

Jae stays frozen in place but the sight of defeat laying to rest on Brian’s face jumpstarts his brain—that kind of look clearly doesn’t belong to the younger’s pretty face. Without turning to face Brian, Jae shakily starts in a fragile voice, “Did you mean that?”

He said the words in such a small voice that Brian almost didn’t hear him. Almost.

Jae clears his throat, voice sounding firmer and surer as he clarifies, “Miss me, I mean. Do you really mean that?”

Brian stills his entire body. Something akin to hope comes back to life inside his chest. “Yes, Jae. I can’t even begin to describe just how much I miss you.” He confesses, pouring out all of his emotions into those words. “But if you still don’t believe me, let me show you.”

He turns back to grab Jae’s arm from behind and pulls gently to make the older face him. His heart picks up at the sight of Jae’s shining eyes, looking so distraught and hopeful at the same time. Two contradicting emotions battling for dominance. A frown has taken over the older’s face and Brian wants nothing more than to erase it. Throwing caution to the wind, he reaches both hands to cup Jae’s cheeks and holds him as if he’s the most precious thing he’s ever held in his entire life.

Jae’s eyes flit through Brian’s face, searching and waiting for what’s to come.

The younger doesn’t let him wait for long as he finally, _finally_ closes the distance between their lips. The kiss was shy and tentative at first, the gesture containing both a question and a statement. It’s just their lips getting familiar, trying to fit together perfectly. Everything is so deliciously soft and gentle that Jae easily finds himself tilting his head and giving in to Brian.

At Jae’s subtle invitation, Brian sighs into the kiss both in relief and elation. He feels Jae’s hands reach up to grab the front of his shirt, pulling him closer. Brian is more than happy to let Jae have him.

As they pull away after a few moments, panting and with lips swollen from all the kissing, Brian confidently reaches a hand out to wipe saliva off the corner of Jae’s plump lips and proceeds to lick it off his finger. Not once did his gaze linger from Jae’s. Flustered from the sudden intimate gesture, Jae rests his forehead against Brian’s before asking, “God, what are you doing to me, Brian?”

Brian smiles softly, knowing the answer all too well. “Showing you how much I love you.”

They didn’t talk much after that as their lips find their way to each other for the second time in their lives.

Sometime after ten in the evening, as they lay in bed, bickering while cuddling, Brian hesitantly brings up, “Hyung, about me reading that story…”

Jae’s arm tightens around the younger’s torso as he cuts into his words, “Oh, Bri, don’t worry about it. It’s all in the past, we’re good now.”

“No, wait,” Brian persists, adjusting his position to prop his elbow against the pillow to look directly into Jae’s eyes as he tells him, “I stopped reading the story after our fight. I didn’t want you get mad at me any more than you already were. I also don’t want you to go on and think that I would ever make fun of you. I was laughing at my phone because I was a little surprised at how some of the fans were basically joking about praying our fictional characters into existence. That’s all. I would never laugh _at_ you. When I did those things that night, I wanted to show you how similar we are to the ‘boyfriends Jae and Brian’ that we are in the story. I wanted to show you what we can be, what I _want_ us to be. I figured, since you read it too, that you would come to the same conclusion. I immediately assumed that you would understand my actions way before I even confessed to you. I know now that it was wrong of me to assume those things of you and I’m sorry.”

As he digests the younger’s words, Jae feels ridiculous for being upset over a problem that they clearly created themselves just because they didn’t have the balls to fucking talk to each other. He wants to laugh at themselves and the only thing stopping him is seeing the anxiety in Brian’s eyes.

Jae smiles softly as he starts, “God, you’re _such_ an idiot, BriBri.”

Brian’s eyes widen a fraction as he waits.

“But you’re my idiot.” Jae wraps him in his arms, burying his face on the younger’s neck as he hugs the life out of him. Brian is too happy to care as he hugs Jae back with just as much enthusiasm.

It has been almost a week since they started dating in secret when they decided to share the news to their members. Their European tour is almost over, just three more stops left before they’re on a plane back to South Korea when they called the other three over to Jae’s hotel room that one night. At first, the other three didn’t think much of it as they figured Jae and Brian just wanted them all to hangout. They ordered room service and called in a few deliveries to eat for dinner when Jae suddenly calls for all of their attention.

“Guys, Brian and I have something to say.” He starts in a confident and charismatic voice, the kind that he often used for concert speeches.

Sungjin, Wonpil, and Dowoon look at the two of them expectantly that Jae starts to lose his earlier bravado after having everyone’s eyes on him. So, instead of talking, he chooses to show them.

He reaches for one of Brian’s hands to hold it on his lap and intertwines their fingers.

It was Brian who proudly adds as if it still isn’t obvious, “We’re dating.”

There is a full three seconds of silence before the other three bursts into different kinds of reaction; Sungjin letting out an audible sigh of relief and commenting, “Finally!”, Wonpil deciding to tease Jae as he shares, “So that’s why hyung has been nice to me, recently! He finally got the di—” before Jae cuts him off with a smack in the arm, and Dowoon just casually asking, “Wait, I thought all of us already knew?”

This pulls a surprised reaction from the two boyfriends. “What do you mean, Dowoon-ah?” Brian wants to know.

Their youngest just shrugs. “It was obvious. When we came back to the hotel after midnight from having dinner in Amsterdam, I came by Jaehyung-hyung’s room to give him the takeout food he asked for. I saw them cuddling in bed together, asleep.”

Wonpil frowns in confusion. “Big deal, they always do that back at the dorm.” Jae and Brian share a look before blushing and looking away.

 _Maybe we really were being that obvious, huh?_ Jae muses to himself.

“Well, yeah, sure.” Dowoon concedes before adding, “But Jaehyung-hyung didn’t have a shirt on and Brian’s head was literally on top of his chest.”

“Ya! Yoon Dowoon!” Jae exclaims. “You didn’t have say all of that.”

“Sorry hyung.” The drummer apologizes though it didn’t sound sincere. “But like I said, it was obvious.”

The other members had nothing much else to add after that. But after the initial excitement died down, their conversation took on a more serious tone as Jae and Brian ask for the other members’ help of keeping their relationship a secret. And as expected of Sungjin, Wonpil, and Dowoon, they easily agreed with no questions asked, having given their full and unwavering support for the two.

They spend the rest of the night coming up with airtight and fool-proof solutions just in case the media gets a whiff of their relationship. They also create other plans and set a little bit of guidelines stating what Jae and Brian should and shouldn’t do in public, on a schedule, on tour, or basically anywhere else that’s beside the safety of their dorm so as to avoid raising suspicion. And a part of this rule says that Jae and Brian should lessen sleeping in the same bed while on tour. The two agreed to it but it was Jae who bargained that they be allowed at least three times a week. Sungjin doesn’t have the heart to deny them so he agrees.

And here they are now, lying on their own separate beds inside separate hotel rooms. Their flight back to Seoul is scheduled the next day before lunchtime but Brian has a problem.

**bribri:**

_Jae, I’m bored_

_And I can’t sleep_

😫😫😫

Jae blearily stares at his phone as the messages kept on coming.

_jaejae!_

_Jaehyungieee_

_Babe, don’t ignore me! I can see you reading these texts_

_Hyung!!!_

Chuckling fondly at the younger, Jae decides to spare his boyfriend from misery.

**jaejae:**

_Jesus, bri. It’s 2 in the morning_

_I can’t sleep_

_I miss you :(_

_How can I help, baby?_

_send nudes_

_Fuck, bri_

_come on now, don’t be shy_

_fine…_

Jae proudly laughs at his own joke in the dark. Secretly though, Jae is relieved that Brian didn’t ask why he has a copy of that picture.

_Jae!!! I want YOUR nudes_

_Nice try distracting me with those lips_

_is it working_

Jae’s thankful that he’s alone so no one can see him blush. _Are we really sexting right now?_ He’s unsure because it might just them doing their usual banter like always. Or, something else entirely different.

_…_

_yes_

_Don’t worry, I’ll give you something better_

🤤

_……_

_Jae?_

Brian frowns a little on his phone as he sees that Jae is no longer reading the texts. _Maybe he fell asleep?_ He tries to reason. And as he’s about to try to settle in for the night too, trying to ignore the fact that he really misses having Jae beside him, he hears three soft knocks on his door, followed by a, “Brian, it’s me.”

Brian quickly scrambles off the bed to let his boyfriend in. He opens the door to find Jae standing on his doorway, wearing the cutest set of pajamas.

“Happy now?” Jae says in greeting.

The younger’s heartbeat is through the roof as he feels love and appreciation for his boyfriend basically devour his chest. With a bright smile, he immediately pulls Jae inside. “Very.”

The satisfied smirk that Jae throws his way before letting himself get dragged to the bed is so infuriatingly smug and handsome that Brian finds himself falling all over again.

“I love you, hyung.” He whispers against the crook of Jae’s neck.

He feels the vibrations on Jae’s chest as he chuckles at the words. “What a sap.” But he still replies, nonetheless, “I love you, too, BriBri.”


	4. epilogue

Jae sits up in bed, stretching out the kinks off his long limbs. Panning his eyes around the bedroom, he sees a familiar backpack resting on the chair by his computer desk. He frowns a little in confusion, knowing for certain that that was clearly not there the night before. As an answer to his question, he faintly hears voices and laughter coming from somewhere outside the door.

As part of his daily morning routine, he picks up his phone from the bedside table to scroll through it before fully getting up from the bed.

His eyebrows raise a little in surprise at seeing the missed calls and text messages from his boyfriend. Slightly worried, he proceeds to read the texts.

Fortunately, his mind catches up to what day it is as he quickly gets up to make his way out of the room.

“…And he lives!” Brian announces as soon as he sees Jae stumbling into view, scratching at his own hair that’s sticking out whichever way possible.

Jae looks around the living room, seeing his mom lounging on the reclining chair by the window and Brian sitting comfortably by the couch with Jaedong sleeping peacefully on his lap.

After they got home from the European tour about five months ago, Jae was pleasantly surprised—and slightly betrayed—to see how at ease his dog felt around his boyfriend. When Brian came to visit him at home a week into their short vacation last February, Jaedong was a little cautious around the younger. Sure, that was not the first time Brian met Jaedong but it also wasn’t often that he got to see the dog before they started dating. During those few days, Brian worked hard to get himself acclimated with Jae’s pet and it wasn’t long until he started to see progress. Well, it also helped that he was often wearing Jae’s shirts so the older’s scent lingered on his skin. Now, whenever Jae and Brian would come to visit Jae’s parents, Brian’s awaiting arms were the first ones Jaedong would run to instead of his owners’ son. Jae would have felt upset and betrayed if he didn’t find the sight of Brian coddling his dog to be equal parts endearing and adorable.

Jae waddles towards his mother to give her a hug, tucking her head against his chest as he greets her with a soft smile, “Happy birthday, mother dearest.”

“Thank you, honey.” His mother replies, patting her son’s hand that’s resting on her shoulder.

“Where’s dad?” He asks, seeing that his father’s favorite shoes are missing from their usual place by the door.

“He got out to pick up the cake.” His mom simply informs him to which Jae just hums in response.

He then carefully goes to take a seat beside the younger, careful not to wake his dog. As he walks across the room, he feels his boyfriend’s eyes following his every move with a tiny smirk.

“When did you get here?” Jae asks him after giving the top of Brian’s head a soft kiss.

A few months ago, he would have blushed bright red at the thought of his mom seeing him be even just a tiny bit affectionate towards Brian. But fortunately, he quickly figured not to let something as petty as embarrassment stop him from showering his boyfriend with love and kisses. He realized that since they already can’t openly show their love to each other in public, why bother holding back when they’re around the people that they completely trust.

“Two hours ago.” Brian tells him with a chuckle as Jae yawns into his hands. “What time did you get home from recording the podcast last night?”

“Half-past one in the morning.” Jae reaches out to scratch Jaedong behind the ears.

The younger clicks his tongue, a slight frown on his pretty face. “You really need to stop recording so late.”

Jae sighs, agreeing. “I know. But I needed to catch up on a few recordings because I was gone for the whole promotion period of our latest comeback. Eric informed me that I was running low on saved up episodes.” He settles back on the couch, lifting his feet to rest on the coffee table and resting his head on the younger’s shoulder. “At least now, I can go for two full months without having to record.”

“Good.” Brian replies, satisfied.

Jae is about to reply a sarcastic remark when he feels his stomach rumbling, the sound echoing in the room. Brian and his mom give resulting chuckles at him, both looking at him with fondness and loving stares.

“Bribri, make me breakfast.” He whines against his boyfriend’s shoulder, all the while giving him puppy-dog eyes.

“What are you, a baby?” Brian replies, amused.

 _No, but I’m_ your _baby._ Jae wants to say but he stops himself at the last possible second. He’s not _that_ sappy.

“Briii, I’m hungry…” He whines some more, shifting his body closer to Brian’s side.

“I can’t. Jaedong is sleeping on my lap.” Brian reminds him, gesturing to the said dog snoring soundly.

“Let me take him.” Jae offers, insistent. “Come on, babe, feed me. Please? You rarely cook for me these days.”

As Jae expected, this pulls a reaction from his boyfriend.

“You gotta stop saying that, honestly.” The younger tells him with a sigh.

He’s referring to Jae always telling their fans and other people that, even though Brian is a great cook, he rarely cooks for them. When in reality, he never forgets to share his food to the older whenever he fixes himself a plate. (“But you really don’t cook for the other members though?” Jae reminded him that one time after Brian came to him, complaining about the story Jae once told in his podcast. “Well, yeah, ‘cause they’re not _my_ boyfriend now, are they?” Brian reasoned which effectively shut Jae up, knowing he lost the argument.)

This basically became one of their long-running banters now. Jae’s always teasing him about being stingy on food so he often uses this as ammunition to get his boyfriend to cook for him whenever he’s too lazy to do it himself.

Not that Brian has ever found cooking for him as annoying. He just didn’t like people thinking that he can’t at least do something nice for his boyfriend—which is unreasonable and pointless because these people don’t even _know_ that he has a boyfriend in the first place.

Brian gives Jae’s mom a playfully exasperated look as he says, “See what I have to live with on a daily basis?” However, he still makes a move to pass a sleeping dog to Jae’s lap.

Unfortunately, the move stirs the animal awake.

“Now you woke Jaedongie up.” Brian clicks his tongue at the older before standing up from the couch and making his way to the kitchen. “I’ll have your food ready in ten minutes.” He calls back, the sound of the stove being turned on play in the background.

“Love you, babe!” Jae slightly raises his voice in reply, grateful. In his seat, he bends down to give his dog a mock-whisper. “See? I’m still Brian’s baby, not you.”

His dog just licks his palm in return.

By the window, his mom just watches the whole thing with a soft, contented smile.

They spent the rest of the day stuffing their faces with good food, catching up, and playing board games on the coffee table. Jae’s mom wanted to spend her birthday being surrounded by the people that she loves, just wanted it to be a private family event as she savors the borrowed time that she gets to have with Jae, and now Brian, before they’re swept away to another schedule. She appreciates that the two chose to spend their entire weekend at Jae’s home and how Jae even surprised her by arriving a day earlier than they’re supposed to because he couldn’t wait to hand in her present.

It was a song, something that he wrote and recorded for the project from months before. He was supposed to include it on his channel but after he asked for Brian’s opinion on whether he should release it or not, he decided to keep the song private. Brian told him that maybe he should let his mom hear it first, let her decide if she wants him to share it to the public, to which Jae agreed. After all, the most important feedback for this song is coming from her.

Midway through playing her the song, Jae saw his mom crying into his father’s arms. He would have stopped playing in concern but then he saw the genuine smile on her face. He felt his heart swell inside his chest. He was proud of what he had done and, at the same time, happy that he got to sing his mother praises through this song.

Jae might be a lot of things—an idol band member, an artist, a lover—but first and foremost, he is his mother’s son.

His mom was so happy that before dinner, they face-time Jae’s sister to let her hear the song as well. They are all seated on the sectional couch as they wait for the call to connect, Jae’s mother sitting in the middle with her husband and her son on both sides, and with Brian sitting on the other side of Jae. The younger stays back a little off the frame to give the family some privacy as they chat with Jae’s sister in LA.

As Jae’s sister’s face appears on the screen of the laptop, she gets immediately greeted with their parents trying to catch up with her, exchanging _how are you_ ’s and _I miss you_ ’s.

Once all the birthday wishes and other pleasantries are out of the way, Jae’s mom excitedly announces, “Jaehyung wrote me a new song!”

“Wow, that’s wonderful!” Jae’s sister exclaims, throwing in a bright smile.

Mr. Park teases his wife, “Your mom cried while listening.”

Jae adds, giving his sister a challenging look, “Try to top my birthday gift, ha!”

His sister scoffs playfully, “I already gave her a son-in-law, try topping _that_!”

Jae tries not to let his embarrassment show as he sits back, defeated. “Touché.”

If Brian isn’t sitting by his side, he would have easily retorted to his sister, _Oh, please, Brian and I will get there soon…_ but right now he has to bite his tongue. He hopes that his boyfriend doesn’t notice his sudden awkwardness but when he turns his head to the side, he sees Brian suggestively (and maybe _jokingly?_ ) wriggling his eyebrows at him.

He throws Brian a slight glare with no malice behind it in retaliation that gets rewarded with a bright laughter from the younger.

“Oh, is that Brian?” Jae’s sister perks up. “Is our Bribri there, too?” She coos out the pet name. Ever since Jae told his family that him and Brian started dating, Jae’s sister was more than happy to immediately include Brian into their push-and-pull sibling bantering.

Brian leans into the frame, chuckling lightly. “Hi, noona! Nice to see you again.”

“Why are you hiding behind there?”

“Oh, I just wanted to let you guys enjoy a little family time to—”

“Non-sense!” She gestures with her hand, swatting away Brian’s comment. “You’re family now. Come over here. I want to see you too, you idiot.”

Brian does as told, fully leaning on Jae’s side now to keep himself inside the frame.

“So, what are you guys up to these days?” She asks the two youngest people on the couch.

They shrug. “Nothing much. Same old, same old.” Jae vaguely replies.

“Really?” His sister cocks an eyebrow with a smirk. “Because I recently saw on Instagram two seemingly unrelated posts from your accounts. Mind telling me about that?”

“It’s nothing—”

Brian is quick to interrupt Jae as he proudly states, “Jae took me on a surprise picnic date! It was so romantic.”

“Oh, wow!” Jae’s sister looks pleasantly surprised. “I gotta say, Bri, I’m impressed. I’ve never seen my baby brother look so whipped before you. I didn’t even think he knew how to be a proper boyfriend before he started dating you. I’m so proud, our baby is now a changed man.”

“Shut up.” Jae mutters, suddenly feeling shy as he looks at anywhere except the screen. But fortunately, Jae’s sister’s attention gets shifted to something else entirely after her father asked a question. As the other three continued chatting animatedly, Jae feels Brian’s fingers touching the slightly exposed skin on his lower back. The younger starts rubbing small circles against him as if to give reassurance, hoping to get his message across that Jae shouldn’t be embarrassed because the date was indeed amazing and romantic. With the small smile that Jae gives him in response, Brian knows that the older understood the intention behind the gesture.

Jae’s sister was pertaining to the latest posts on both of Jae’s and Brian’s Instagram accounts from a few days ago. Brian posted a different picture two days after Jae did to avoid raising any suspicion. He wouldn’t have uploaded anything in the first place but he felt that the date had been so memorable that he needed to document it on his account. He just captioned it with some bullshit like “going on a picnic with yourself is a happy kind of healing” or something along those lines to prevent people from asking if he went with someone and who he came there with. He even had to hide Jae’s wine glass to be consistent with the narrative that he went alone. He didn’t care much about the other details, he really just wanted to post that picture as a small act of appreciation for Jae giving him the most perfect date of his life. His followers may not know the real story behind that picture but it doesn’t matter because Jae’s opinion is the only one that matters to him the most.

Jae dragged him from their bed in the dorm a few mornings ago to get dressed. As the younger grumbled after being pulled from such a comfortable slumber, Jae grabbed Sungjin’s keys from the tiny table beside the couch. Apparently, he asked to borrowed their leader’s car the night before as Jae needed to drive them to wherever he wanted to take the younger on such an early hour that Monday morning. The only thing that stopped Brian from complaining out loud was seeing the excited look on Jae’s gorgeous face as he kept promising from the driver’s seat, “I swear, you’ll love this, Bri.”

After driving for a few hours, with Brian asleep through some of it, the surroundings have visibly changed sceneries, letting Brian know that they’re miles away from Seoul by now. As midday approached, Brian looked out the window to see the view on both sides of the road transitioning from high-rises to large expanses of rice fields, to rural forests, and finally, to having the mountain one side and seeing the ocean in another.

After Jae parked the car near a hiking trail, Brian looked at him in slight confusion. “Are we mountain climbing? I thought you hated that, hyung.”

“Huh?” Jae asked distractedly as he went to grab something from the backseat.

“Need help with that?” Brian offered as he saw Jae struggling to pick up two large paper bags.

“Nope. I got it.” As Jae stood back to his full height, he presented Brian with a thick blanket hanging off one arm and two paper bags full of food and a bottle of champagne. “Surprise!”

“Jae…” Brian started, eyeing the older with slight amusement. “What is all this?”

“As a celebration for surviving such a stressful but incredibly rewarding promotional period, I wanted to take you out on a lovely picnic while we enjoy this gorgeous view.” Jae shares, gesturing widely at the ocean in front of them.

Eyes shining with love and adoration, Brian walked closer to the older until he was stood less than a foot away. “When did you plan this?” He asked in a quiet voice.

“Since last month and a half or so.” Jae simply informed him. “I know it’s hard to go out in public often so I did some research—really, it was so extensive it put all of my college final essays to shame—to find basically private and lesser known destinations in rural Korea. And here we are. Did I do okay?”

Brian looked around the horizon, gazing at its beauty and all the while marveling at how there wasn’t a single person in sight for miles and miles. “More than okay.” To add to that, he grabbed his boyfriend’s face to reward him the kind of kiss that a grand gesture such as this deserves.

With his hands full, Jae could only tilt his head to the side to deepen the kiss, permitting Brian’s tongue to explore the inside of his mouth. He whimpers softly at the passion behind the younger practically attacking his lips, feeling his boyfriend’s body coming flushed with his own.

Jae felt one of Brian’s hands snake down from his face to grab onto his hip, pulling him almost impossibly closer. His knees melt from the younger’s eagerness as he immediately followed it with slotting a leg in between Jae’s thighs. The resulting friction from their nether regions was oh, so painfully delicious that Jae had to pull away to stop things from escalating. “Babe, I would love nothing more than for you to devour me, but these bags are getting kind of heavy and we need to eat.”

Brian chased his lips a few times more as the older’s words failed to register in his distracted mind. When Jae stopped cooperating, the younger moved his lips to pepper Jae’s jaw and neck with kisses.

Jae prompted again, in between uncontrolled gasps and tiny moans, to say, “Brian, come on. I bought us sushi, different kinds of cheeses, a few fruits, and champagne. You must be hungry by now.”

Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately? It depends which side you’re looking at it), at the mention of food, Brian finally stilled his advances.

He pulled away from Jae’s neck with a sigh. “Such a buzzkill.” He complained with a tiny pout before grabbing one of the bags from Jae’s hands.

Endeared by the adorable sight, Jae quickly stole a kiss from the younger’s lips, effectively erasing that pout. “We basically sleep together all the time, you horndog.”

Brian had the audacity to suggestively smirk at his response.

After they laid out the blanket on one of the big rocks by the shore and under the shade of a giant tree, they practically inhaled all of the sushi; the long drive made them hungry. At first, Brian was hesitant to let Jae eat some of the dairy. But after Jae assured him that he took a couple of meds as a preventive measure, they lied down while feeding each other small cuts of cheese and fruits. They stayed that way relaxing, lounging, and just overall enjoying each other’s company well until the sun started to set.

Later that night, Brian’s phone rang from the bedside table in his room at the dorm, notifying him of an Instagram post from Jae. His heart melted in his chest as he read the caption.

(Even Jae’s caption is a subtle declaration of love for the younger hiding behind the pretense of a joke, and making people none-the-wiser. To which Jae thinks is also a witty move, if he does say so himself.)

Brian wanted nothing more than to respond to it publicly with his own post but of course, he couldn’t, at least not right away, so he just commented a common question to still let Jae know that he’s seen the post.

Not long after, Jae has finished showering so when he got to back to his room, Brian was already waiting in bed, eager to show his appreciation for the older.

  
Two days later, Brian posted his own picture documenting their date.

As expected, Jae teased him a little because of his cheesy and lame caption. But Brian couldn’t be bothered to care much especially when he catches Jae smiling while staring at the selfie they took together on his own phone a few hours later.

After they ended the call with Jae’s sister, they began eating dinner. Jae’s father, a kind man, fills Brian’s plate for him with a lot of food. The younger finds himself realizing that Jae got his thoughtfulness from his father.

“Eat up, Brian. When he was growing up, we couldn’t feed Jaehyung a lot of different types of food the way we wanted to because of his allergies. But thankfully, we have another son to dot over; we now have you to basically force-feed all the good stuff.” Jae’s father jokes as he keeps on putting things into his plate so much that Brian had to stop him, laughing.

Of course, Brian also quickly realized that Jae’s humor also came from his father. But as he bites into the food, Brian can’t sing enough praises to Jae’s mother’s cooking.

“Woah, seriously, you never fail to amaze me, auntie!” Brian exclaims after another bite of the kimchi fried rice. “Why didn’t Jae inherit your skills? The world is so cruel.”

“Hey,” Jae speaks up in mild protest. “That’s not what you said when I made you pasta the other day.”

“I was just being a nice boyfriend.” Brian informs him, pretending to be regretful.

As a response, Jae playfully kicks him under the table, making Brian grunt in surprise.

Chuckling at their ridiculous bickering, Brian laments, “Just kidding, your fettucine alfredo was actually pretty good.” Brian takes another bite. “But your mom’s still better, babe, sorry.”

Jae simply shrugs. _It’s true, though._ He agrees to himself as he lifts another bite into his mouth.

They move to the living room a little later to watch a movie from Netflix while giving Jae’s mother the gifts they got her—well, everyone aside from Jae, of course. Jae’s father got his wife a white gold necklace that has a black pearl pendant and with matching earrings. Jae plays his role as the grossed-out child as his mom gives his dad a big kiss as a thank-you for the gift.

Next is Brian. He proudly hands the giftbags with a slight flourish, putting on a show and presenting them Lion King style as he gets on his knees and raising the bags up with his hands.

“So dramatic.” Jae comments teasingly.

“Oh, Brian, honey. You shouldn’t have.” Mrs. Park tells the younger as she takes the giftbags onto her lap.

And upon seeing the things inside, she releases a tiny squeal of happiness.

Brian immediately looks at Jae with a satisfied smile and sees the older mirroring his expression.

“Share it with the audience, sweetheart.” Mr. Park prompts as he bends forward to try to sneak a peek into the bags.

Excitedly, Jae’s mom pulls out the items—Brian’s gifts are cute chicken- and fox-styled jumpsuits for the dog.

“Wow! Are these for Jaedong?” Mr. Park reaches for the small clothes to get a better look. “He would look so cute in these!”

Brian gets up from the floor and takes a seat beside Jae, suddenly feeling shy as he explains, “It’s for whenever me and Jae would get too busy during schedules to call or visit. I hope that, when seeing Jaedong wear these, it would at least remind you of us.”

Since this is the first time he has ever given a gift to either one of Jae’s parents, Brian wanted it to be uniquely memorable but also with a personal touch. The gift is originally his idea but it was Jae who found where to order them online. Together, the boys gave Jae’s mom the good kind of rollercoaster of emotions as Jae’s gift was touching and heartwarming while Brian’s was thoughtful and sweet.

Looking at Jae and Brian snuggled under the blanket on the other end of the sectional, Mrs. Park feels her heart swell with love and gratitude for them. She knows how busy they are and yet they still find time to make her happy. In addition to this, she’s just really glad Jae and Brian had found their way into each other’s lives. She feels content to know that her son’s heart is in good and more-than-capable hands; safe, protected, and most of all, loved. She knows all of the things Jae had to overcome all throughout the years, all the problems he had to face, both professionally and personally. She’s thankful that Jae had Brian by his side through it all to help him find his way back to himself.

Holding back tears, she gives them both a tight hug. “I love you, boys. So. Much.” She whispers to them, giving each a kiss on the cheek.

“Happy birthday again, mom.” Jae whispers back, hugging her in return. “I love you, too.”

Brian stays silent, enjoying the embrace. There’s not much else he can add that Jae hasn’t already said.

Ever since they became a band, the parents of each of the members have all treated one of them like their own kid, each parent gaining four more sons. After all, these five boys have been through so much together that they’re all practically brothers now anyway. They all treasure the one big, special family they were able to make in just a span of a few years. But when him and Jae started dating, Brian’s relationship with Jae’s parents has drastically changed. It has grown deeper, stronger, and whenever his longing for his own parents who are back in Canada gets to be too much, Jae’s parents are always there to take him in.

Mrs. Park pulls away, wiping at the corners of her eyes. She goes back to sit beside her husband who, almost instantly, is comforting her with his arms. She hugs the gifts to her chest, content and happy, before addressing the three men in the room. “Thank you all for indulging me today, boys. I really appreciate it.”

They all respond with bright smiles and shining eyes, greeting her once again for her birthday.

“Alright then,” Jae’s mom continues, gathering her things in one hand. “I think it’s time to hit the hay. I’m getting pretty tired.” Yawning, she grabs Mr. Park’s hand with the other as she pulls them off the couch. “Let’s go, honey.”

Jae’s parents retire early to their room shortly after that, leaving Jae and Brian to have their own alone time in the living room.

And here they are now, laid out on the couch, and cuddling while watching a romantic comedy on Netflix. Jae has his arm around Brian’s shoulders as the younger rests his head on the former’s chest, their legs tangled underneath the thick blanket. They don’t talk much during the first quarter of the movie, engrossed in it, when Brian suddenly speaks up.

“What did your mom think of the song?”

Jae tilts his head to look at him and sees that the younger’s eyes are still glued to the television. He settles back down, loving the warmth of Brian’s hand resting on his stomach as he shares, “She loved it. I forgot to ask her what she wanted me to do with it but I decided to just keep it to ourselves. It’s too special.”

Brian hums in agreement. “That was such a sweet thing, what you did. You’re a really good son, hyung.”

Jae grins, joking, “You’ve been my boyfriend for five months already and you’re just noticing that now?”

He feels the vibrations against his chest as Brian merely laughs in response.

Silence falls between them again as they continue watching the movie for a few minutes. But just when the plot thickens on the screen, Brian pulls Jae’s attention away from the film once more.

“Did you know that I never got to finish reading the story?” He asks casually, looking up at Jae.

Jae frowns a little in confusion, about to ask what his boyfriend meant when realization easily catches up to him. Of course, he meant _that_ story.

“Why not?” Jae wonders, absently running his hand through the younger’s hair, loves that he can smell his own shampoo in them from when Brian showered at his bathroom a few hours ago.

Brian shrugs. “I didn’t feel the need to.” Under the blanket and the fabric of Jae’s shirt, his hand starts exploring the older’s skin, feeling small goosebumps rise at his touch as he continues, “Nothing can beat the real thing anyway. Especially when I’m living in it right now.”

Jae tries not to show how flustered he is as he quips, smirking handsomely, “I’m that awesome, huh?”

Brian’s eyes trail down to his lips before coming back up to his eyes. “Shut up.”

Jae’s eyes are hooded as he answers, quiet but challenging, “Then make me.”

As soon as the words leave his lips, Brian captures them with his own, kissing him slowly and tenderly. Just like things falling into place, their lips easily taste each other, perfectly slipping into a heady kiss. Jae sighs into it, his entire form melting under the younger’s touch as if it’s for the first time. Almost out of instinct, his hand snakes around Brian’s nape, drawing him in even closer, deepening the kiss, as if he’s still not getting enough contact. He easily grants permission as soon as Brian starts nipping and pulling at his lower lip. Everything is quickly escalating and it’s all basically muscle memory after that.

As Brian’s tongue dances with his own, Jae feels the younger subtly pushing at him until his back hits the couch. He releases a surprised gasp that gets swallowed by Brian’s mouth as the latter easily takes his position on top of Jae. They keep kissing until they’re almost out of breath, panting, as Brian’s lips leave Jae’s, only to attach them at the sensitive spot just below his right ear.

“Brian, wait…” Jae tells him. And yet, his own hands don’t stop carding through the younger’s hair and gripping at his shoulder, never letting his boyfriend get far.

Brian doesn’t listen as he distractedly peppers Jae’s neck with kisses and bites that will surely bruise. Jae has half a mind of thinking that he’ll have to cover them up with makeup in the morning. And in one particular shifting of his lower body, Brian’s half-mast rubs deliciously against Jae’s that leaves the older moaning out loud, the sound painfully echoing in the empty living room.

Brian quickly covers his boyfriend’s mouth with his hand, his sinful lips finally leaving Jae’s skin as he lifts his head to look at the older, chuckling silently.

“That good, huh?” He teases as he laughs once more, his voice sounding low and hoarse that goes straight to Jae’s dick.

“Asshole.” The older tells him in response after removing the hand on his mouth, chuckling at himself as well as he continues, “You try keeping quiet when your boyfriend’s beautiful mouth is practically eating you alive.”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Brian wriggles his eyebrows playfully at him.

“That we should finish watching the movie?” Jae guesses, feigning innocence.

In retaliation, Brian moves his hips oh, so slightly, once again rubbing at the tent on Jae’s pajamas. Jae had to bite his lower lip to keep himself from emitting another sound as his hips move to try to chase the friction.

“You were saying?” Brian prompts, a smirk playing on his lips.

“That we should take this to my room.” Jae answers, sounding more serious this time.

Satisfied, the younger gets up from the couch and quickly heads to the direction of Jae’s bedroom, the older happily trailing behind him.

After locking the door, they easily pick up where they left off. Fortunately, Jae’s room is not directly adjacent to his parents’ but it’s still close enough that they have to keep quiet in order not to get caught. As they lay in bed, naked underneath the covers, Brian whispers his request to Jae. Nodding, the older immediately complies by opening his legs wide to make space for his boyfriend.

Brian begins to worship Jae’s neck as the older’s mouth works around two of the former’s fingers, sucking and lapping at them to make them slick with his saliva. Since they didn’t originally plan on doing this when they decided to spend the weekend at Jae’s parents’ house, they left the necessary supplies—condoms and lube—back at the dorm; they just have to make-do. Which ends up also working for them because now that Jae’s mouth is busy, it prevents him from making a sound as Brian continues sucking over the marks that he previously made all over Jae’s throat.

As soon as Jae grips the younger’s hips, letting him know that he’s ready, Brian removes his fingers from the older’s mouth. And in no time, he’s loosening up his boyfriend, scissoring and thrusting his fingers in and out of the puckering muscle of heat. Brian doesn’t linger too much. He knows that they don’t have the luxury of taking their sweet time unlike the way they usually do in their own bed back at the dorm. So that when Jae signals that he’s prepped enough, Brian replaces his fingers with his member as he returns his mouth to kiss the older’s lips, swallowing the small sounds that manage to escape.

Just like earlier, one of Jae’s hands wrap around the younger’s nape, pulling his head almost impossibly closer. His other hand is gripping his boyfriend’s ass to keep him in place and, at the same time, silently asking for more, urging him to go faster and deeper, still. As Brian obediently follows, pounding relentlessly into his prostate almost in abandon, he starts to feel the familiar heat pooling in his stomach, knows that he’s close. So, to help his boyfriend along, he snakes a hand between their bodies to wrap around Jae’s length, pumping it in time with his thrusts. The older doesn’t last much longer after that, with Brian teasing at his slit, as he spills all over himself with a silent cry on his lips. The younger continues milking him as he rides out his orgasm.

And with just a few more shallow thrusts, Brian follows soon after as the feel of Jae’s insides clenching his length gets to be too much, finally pushing him to the edge. Stilling his hips, he fills the older with his essence, not caring much that some of it are dripping down Jae’s thighs and ruining the sheets.

They lie together like that, spent and satiated, for a few moments feeling the beautiful afterglow wash over them.

“I’ll never look at this room the same way again.” Jae says with a quiet laugh.

Brian lifts his head from the older’s chest, smiling up at him. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

“Says the guy who initiated it.”

The younger had the audacity to laugh before gently pulling out of the older and getting up to get a towel from Jae’s bathroom to clean themselves with.

“You know I’m going to have to get up extra early tomorrow to put the sheets into the washer.” Jae informs him as the younger wipes down the insides of his thighs.

Brian leans forward to give a quick kiss before saying, “Don’t worry, babe, I’ll do it for you. Besides, you deserve to sleep a little longer.”

Jae gives him a grateful smile, reaching his arms out in invitation. Brian quickly lays back down, throwing the towel onto the floor, as he rests against the older’s embrace. Exhaustion from their earlier activity easily catches up to them shortly after.

“Love you, hyung.” Brian whispers against his chest as he feels himself succumbing to slumber.

“Love you, too, Bribri.” The older replies just as quietly, kissing the top of Brian’s head as he lets the sound of his boyfriend’s steady breaths lull him into a deep sleep.

A few weeks later, Jae is looking through his videos on his YouTube channel. He’s sitting in front of his computer, alone in his room at the dorm. Brian is currently out having dinner with his friends from college. The other members are also out, having made plans beforehand since it’s Saturday night. Wonpil initially invited him to go out but he had to decline saying he needed to finish editing something.

It’s been so long since his last vlog and he figures it’s time to change that. He has his hard drive containing various shots for the channel plugged in. But, looking at all these different videos that are almost finished being edited, he doesn’t know which to use. So, he goes through his uploads once again and finally, he comes to an observation.

Just like with every other aspect of his life, Jae muses, _There’s not enough Brian in this. I need to fix it._

And merely two hours later, he’s already finished editing the video that he chose. Fortunately, it was already completed when Byron sent it back to him more than a year ago, he just had to update it a little to fit what he wanted to show the audience. He removed some of the jokes, the memes, and added a few shots that are slightly artsier than what he normally includes in his final cuts. Lately, he’s improved on how to properly edit shots to make them look more dramatic and, dare he say, cinematic. Fortunately, he also took decent shots of different views and random people on the streets so he had a lot of them to be used as transitions. This video is a little step up to what he usually makes. The six-minute video wonderfully telling the story of just two best friends traveling together and having the time of their lives.

He also had to edit out a few scenes that he feels are a little too revealing about his and Brian’s relationship. Which is ironic considering how when these shots were filmed, they weren’t even dating back then. Both were still too much of a coward to confess but all the while already acting like boyfriends.

 _Wow, we really were bad at being subtle._ Jae notes as he cuts out a five-second clip that’s just solely focused on Brian’s smile and how the younger isn’t even looking at the scenery in front of them; those shining eyes looking past the camera as he gazes softly instead at the one holding it.

Of course, he saves that clip to be used as blackmail to Brian for later.

The video finishes uploading in no time and Jae settles back in his seat, satisfied.

Minutes later, he gets a call from Brian.

He had to decline it and instead chooses to text him.

**jaejae:**

_Later, babe_

_I just got out of the shower._

To which Brian just immediately requests for a face-time in return. Laughing, he declines it once more.

_Pervert._

**bribri:**

_A little warning would have been nice!_

_Sorry_ 😂

_I wanted it to be a surprise_

_Did you like it?_

_Did I like it?_

_DID I LIKE IT?_

_I even had to hide in the bathroom from my friends for ten minutes_

_because I knew I wouldn’t be able to control my face while I watch it_

_I fucking love it so much!!!_

_God, I want to kiss you right now._

_Then come home and do it._

Brian’s reply comes a minute later but Jae finds himself smiling all the same as he reads.

_I’m on my way._

_By the way, I bought pizza._

Jae’s smile widens at that as he fixes his bed and gets the movie ready on the computer for his and Brian’s weekly movie marathon, wondering which version of ‘Netflix and chill’ they’ll do tonight—the actual one or the naughty one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp... this has gotten longer than expected! But anyways, we've reached the end! This has been fun :) glad I got to write this because the next one I'll be posting after will definitely be heavier lol
> 
> Do let me know what you think of this chapter/the whole story in general down in the comments! 💛


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